


Playing it Cool

by Prettyyoungtragedy



Series: Playing it Cool [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Playing It Cool (2014), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, F/F, F/M, M/M, Marvel Universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-04-29 19:19:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14479440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettyyoungtragedy/pseuds/Prettyyoungtragedy
Summary: You're a writer, and have never been in love before. Though it’s not for a lack of trying! You are tasked with ghost writing a love story for a famous author and now need some real life inspiration. Until you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes … the ultimate lover boys.





	1. 10 Inch guy

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so wrote another AU! Marvel Fic! I loved writing this one, I shared this on my Tumblr, so i hope you guys like this one too!
> 
> PS: The reader insert character is Bisexual, so idk if this is a warning or not! 
> 
> DROP ME SOME FEEDBACK! I love hearing what you have to say!

The music is loud, and the flashing lights of the club are almost blinding. Swaying bodies, flush against each other, the smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke plaster the air. You’re trying to focus on what Natasha is saying but the music is too loud and distracting. It’s your birthday and Natasha wanted to go dancing, you obliged her. How could you ever say no to her. 

“Y/N!” She half yells at you, placing more shots down in front of you. “Drink up bitch!”. Beside her, Wanda, Maria and Laura were yelling something at each other as well, happily laughing into their drinks. 

You groaned loudly and shook your head. If you did any more shots tonight you were going to end up going home with some random guy again and it would just end in a disaster. 

“Y/N! Drink!” Laura yells over the music and picks up one of the shot glass, downing it. You had long surpassed your normal drinking limit, you could practically feel your liver dying inside of you. But you knew you had to take the shot, none of them would let you get away with it. 

You grabbed the shot glass and poured the contents down your throat. Fucking tequila. You hold back your gag, and grimaced. Feeling the burn and the taste rush to your taste buds. You quickly take a sip of your drink, washing away the tequila taste. 

“Let’s dance!” Maria says, grabbing your hand and practically dragging you to the dance floor. Your inhibitions are gone at this point, you’re not a terrible dance but with a few shots in you, you danced as if you were a burlesque girl. It never ended well for you. 

The night had started out at Maria’s place, she invited you and the girls over for pre drinks before you went out for your birthday dinner. She lived in this fancy 5th avenue apartment with her investment banker boyfriend who had a bar in his living room. Seeing as you Natasha and Wanda were not exactly living that fancy high life.

You were a writer, not the fanciest most well paying career let’s be honest but you made it work for you. Natasha, Wanda, Maria and Laura were your go to friends for pretty much everything in your life. Natasha was an aspiring model, a hopeless romantic, not the brightest bulb in the pack but you loved her anyway, she had a string of failed relationships and yet was still the most hopeful dimwit you had ever met. Wanda was a playwright, she was all strong-willed and feminism and fuck the patriarchy, but deep down you knew she was a trust fund baby with a chip on her shoulder. you two fucked sometimes, for research. You had met Wanda in high school, and stayed friends ever since. 

Laura was that perfect miss goody goody, every girl group needed one. She lived that stepford life in the suburbs married to Clint her highschool sweetheart, and she drove a porsche on weekends to the farmers market. It was ridiculously pretentious but she was your friend, whaddya going to do. 

Maria was was a lawyer, none of you understood why she was still friends with any of you seeing as she was the most successful of all of you. Driven, ambitious and she probably had her life together better than any of you. 

It was supposed to be a relaxed night out, with some drinks and dinner but that never happened when the five of you got together. Now here you were drunkenly grinding up against your friends and strangers on the dance floor. All inhibitions gone out the window. 

You take a moment of reprieve and step off the dance floor, making your way back to your table when he walks into you. Spilling his drink down the front of you dress, in your drunken state, you want to yell at him but when you look up into his blue eyes, you lose your train of thought and right then and there you knew you were going home with him. 

“Hi.” He said loudly smirking down at you. 

“Hi.” was your breathless reply. As your eyes trail across his face. Blue eyes, angled jaw, gorgeous smile. Body to die for, oh yes you were going home with him. 

“I’m sorry about the drink.” He said. But you didn’t hear him over the blaring music. 

“What?” You shouted. 

He laughs and gestures to your chest, thinking he was talking about your boobs or he was complimenting you, you shouted “Thanks!” at him. He laughs again, shaking his head, he leans in. His mouth close to your ear, 

“I said, sorry for spilling my drink on you, but you do have nice tits.” His voice was low and deep and it made you shiver. 

This made you laugh, and in your drunken state you didn't care about anything except getting him to come home with you. You leaned into him again,”Do you wanna get out of here?” You shouted in his ear, he pulled back and grinned at you nodding. 

You had no idea who he was or what his name was, and you didn’t care. You grabbed his hand and began to guide him out of the club, Natasha sees you and you wave at her. Her and Wanda give you a thumbs up just as you disappear out the exit of the club. 

He takes you back to his place, the whole cab ride there you’re both practically on top of each other, making out desperately. As the two of you drunkenly stumble into his apartment , he is grabbing your arm and unzipping your dress, then leading you to the bedroom.

“My name is.” He begins to say but you place your hand over his mouth, 

“Shhh don’t tell me, I don't care.” You mumbled and kiss him again. 

The guy chuckles as he pulls off his shirt, revealing his ridiculously toned figure beneath the shirt. “What the fuck.” You said, staring at him from the foot of the bed. 

“Right back at you baby.” He replies with a grin on his face before he shoves you back gently and you fall onto the bed. 

He is on top of you, kissing you again. You wrap your arms around his neck, bucking your hips against his crotch. Urging him to hurry the fuck up. He obliges and gives you want you need. Sweet, ecstatic release. 

*****

You woke up in his bed, he is laying beside you snoring slightly, his face still devastatingly handsome in the morning light. Groaning inwardly at the pounding headache that plagued you, you quietly slipped out of his bed, grabbing your items of clothing discarded on the side of the bed. The sun was barely rising as you silently pulled on your underwear and dress, and slipped out of his apartment.

Your walk of shame or rather cab ride of shame back home was shorter than expected. 10 inch guy as you had now decided to refer to him as of last night, lived only 6 blocks from your apartment. You could have walked that distance. 

Walking into your apartment, you dumped your shoes at the door and headed straight for the shower, needing to wash the smells of alcohol and sex off your body. After a cold shower, you stepped out the water, smelling like peaches and cream and pulled on a pair of jeans and a white shirt. You had to be at work in a couple of hours, so you made yourself semi presentable, everyone at the office would know you were hungover and you did not give one fuck. 

You made yourself a quick breakfast, and then proceeded to throw it up, as your stomach was still too sensitive from all the alcohol last night. You sighed and had a glass of water, taking 4 aspirin while you were at it. 

Your phone rings in your bag, and you already know its Natasha. 

“Hi Nat.” You yawned in the receiver. 

“Hey! Thank god you’re alive.” She said, way to cheerily for someone who had drank half the bar last night. 

“Just barely, I have a hangover from hell.” You replied. 

“Eat something and you’ll feel better.” Natasha said, knowing her she has probably already gone for yoga and is already up and about getting her day started. 

“I did, and I just threw it all up minutes later.” You said. 

“Who was the guy?” She asks, changing the topic. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Well, what was his name?” She presses. 

“I didn’t ask. I’m calling him ten inch guy because he was..” You said. 

“Nope. No don’t tell me, i beg you!” Natasha cut you off and you laughed, “But you went home with him?” she said. She should be used to this by now, it was staple move for you. 

“And what’s your point?” You asked, stifling another yawn, you were exhausted. 

“When are you going to stop randomly hooking up and find a boyfriend Y/N?” Natasha sighed. 

“Eh, boyfriends are for suckers.” You said, already preparing yourself for the lecture that was going to come from that statement. 

“Firstly, that is such bullshit, you have never even tried to date a boy properly in the last 3 years” Natasha says “and secondly, I am too hungover to deal with your bullshit today.” 

You laughed at her response, “That makes two of us, buddy.”

“Why do we do this to ourselves?” Natasha groaned through the receiver. 

“I have no idea, but I’m going to be late for work, so goodbye” You replied. Not waiting for her to say goodbye, you ended the call. 

*****

You walked into the office, coffee in hand, sunglasses on, looking like a whole mess. You were twenty minutes late already, but you couldn't care less. 

“Morning Sunshine.” a voice beside you says, and you immediately groaned. 

“Scott no. Go away.” You said, walking a little faster to get to your desk. Scott lang was one of the editors at the publishing house you worked at, you had become fast friends when you started working here two years ago. Scott was easy going and fun to be around for the most part but the most annoying human on the planet when you were hungover. 

“Rough night?” He asked sarcastically. 

You threw him an annoyed look and continued towards your desk. Hoping if you ignored him for long enough he would leave you alone. When you took a seat at your desk, and opened your laptop, Scott pulled up a chair beside you. 

“Potts wants to see you in her office.” He said.

You froze for a second and looked at him, “What for?” you asked nervously. Pepper Potts, the CEO of the publishing house, the benevolent dictator behind Potts Publishing, was a force to be reckoned with. Anyone who got called into her office was usually getting fired, she was merciless when it came to work ethic. But as long as you were meeting your deadlines she didn't care about anything else. It's what made her company so successful. 

“I don't know.” Scott shrugged, leaning back in his chair. 

“Well who told you she wants to see me?” You asked, exasperatedly. 

“Luke did.” 

“Where’s Luke?” You pressed. 

“I don't know.” Scott shrugged again, leaning the chair back. 

“Oh for fucks sake, you are no help.” You replied kicking his chair, Scott wasn't expecting the sudden motion and lost balance,falling out of his chair. Without bothering to help i'm up, you stood up and went off to Pepper’s office. Ready to face whatever music was coming your way.

*****

“Come in.” You hear Pepper’s voice announce from the other side of the door after you had knocked. Taking a deep breath you, steel your nerves and push open the glass door, stepping into her luxurious office. 

“Morning Miss Potts.” You greeted her with a smile, hoping she wouldn’t notice how disheveled you looked. 

“Good Morning Y/N.” Pepper replied, looking up from the pile of manuscripts before her. She gaze wandered over you for a moment before she gestured for you to sit down in one of the leather back chairs in front of her desk. 

You tentatively took a seat, nervously fidgeting with the hem of your t-shirt. Waiting for her to start talking. 

“Happy belated birthday.” Pepper remarked, “I see you celebrated it thoroughly.” She smirked at you. Your heart began to pound in your chest, fuck she knew you were hungover, of course she knew, you probably smelled like a fucking brewery. 

“Uh, Uhm yeah, just had a few drinks.” You stuttered. 

Pepper just nodded and smile at you. That was a good sign you thought. Or maybe not, maybe she smiles as she fires people. Gets a kick out of it. Who knew, either way you were internally having a panic attack. 

“The reason I asked you here this morning is because I have a task for you.” Peppersaid, clearing her throat. Getting down to business, she pulled a large manuscript from the pile she had set on her desk, it was decorated with different coloured tabs along the edges and contained a green sticky note on the front. In bold letters, written on the note was ‘Trash!’. 

Pepper handed you the manuscript, “Are you familiar with JB Barnes?” She asked, 

“Yeah, He’s a best selling author” You replied nodding. 

“Okay, well this is his latest piece of work, he’s trying to reach a new audience in the romance genre and this trash is going to knock him right off the best sellers list and into writers no one cares about anymore.” Pepper stated. 

You stifle a chuckle and looked down at the manuscript you now held. “What do you need me to do?” You asked. 

Pepper suddenly smiled and leaned back in her chair, “You’re going to ghost write his love story for him, Y/N.” She stated, almost gleefully. 

You stared open mouth at her for a moment, “Wait, what?” You said, “You want me to write a love story?” 

Pepper nodded, calmly. Way too calmly. 

“Okay, look. I know Ghostwriting is my job but I can’t do a love story Miss Potts.” You said, placing the manuscript on the table, “There are so many other talented writers in this place who would do a far better job than I can.” 

“I am not asking you to do this Y/N.” Pepper replied, “I am telling you, that this is what you’re doing.” 

This response shut you up entirely. You knew there was no getting out of this, it was either take the task or lose your job. And since being a writer was already hard enough, you wouldn't risk losing your job over this. You would have to suck it up and just do it. 

You sighed, “Alright, when do I start?” You said. Already dreading taking on this project. 

“Tomorrow, you will have lunch with the author and go over the outlines of the story.” Pepper said, she handed you a card, it had the details of the author on it. 

“Thanks.” You muttered taking the card and the manuscript from her and getting up to leave. 

“Oh and Y/N.” Pepper said as you were walking out, “Try and wear something a little more appropriate tomorrow please, Mr Barnes is a stickler for such things.” 

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at her, instead you flashed her a fake smile, nodded and walked out her office. 

*****

A couple of hours later, you are sitting in your living room, reading through the manuscript you were given. It really wasn't that bad, it wasn’t a typical corny fluffy romantic love story but it was kind of a love story. Obviously it was not the sickening love sick shit people wanted to read and Pepper knew that otherwise she wouldn’t have asked you to ghost write for him. 

Given you were never one for sentiment or love, you had some ideas on how to write this story. The premise of the story was simple, boy meets girl, they fall in love, go on some whirlwind romance and live happily ever after. Should be simple enough right?

Yeah no. Here was you little conundrum. You had never really been in love, you had tried to fall in love. You truly did, there were many boys in your life who said they loved you but your response had always been the same. Either thanks or your weird instinct was to run, literally just turn and run. Love just wasn't something you believed in. It was make believe fairy tales, fathers told their little girls so that they grew up thinking men were wonderful. Well guess what, you found out the hard way that was all bullshit way back when you were a kid and had a dad who didn’t tell you those kinds of stories. The only lesson in life you learned from your dad came in the form of his fist to your head., repeatedly. 

So again, love and sentiment weren’t really your forte. At least you grew up tough enough to know bullshit when you saw it. Hence, you never really gave in to the whole idea of love and happily ever after. 

Sighing in frustration, you tossed the manuscript on the table and tiredly rubbed your faced with the palms of your hands. You had made a few notes on the manuscript but so far, but you had nothing to present the author in your meeting tomorrow. 

“Need some company?” A voice comes from behind you, it startles you. You turn around and see Wanda. 

“Christ, Wanda you scared me!” You exclaimed, throwing a crumpled up piece of paper at her. All of them had keys to your apartment, so it was normal for them to just let themselves in. 

“Sorry.” She mumbled, dropping onto one of the couches. “How’s the hangover?” She asks. 

“Ugh, I haven't been unable to get any work done today.” You sighed. “I have this new project, and it hasn’t even started yet, and I am stressed out about it.” 

“What’s it about?” Wanda asks. Kicking off her shoes and making herself comfortable. 

“A fucking love story.” You say, pulling a face. 

Wanda laughs, “You are writing a love story? The queen of one night stands and angst?” 

You lightly shove her shoulder and get up from the desk, stretching your limbs. “You make me sound like a heartless hooker.” You chuckled. 

“Aren’t you though?” She joked. 

You flipped her off, “Did you just come here to insult me?” you laughed. 

“No actually, I am here because I want pizza, let go.” She replied. 

Never one to say no to pizza, you turned off your laptop and headed out with her. 

*****

The next day, you put together a decent enough outfit for you lunch meeting (, grabbed your laptop and whatever notes you had made, along with the manuscript and headed out to meet your newest client. 

You half expected him to already be there when you arrived, but he was not. You sit down and order a drink, pulling out your laptop to get some work done while you wait. 

“You must be my ghost writer?” A guys voice cuts into your train of thought. You blink and look up at the voice. Behind a pair of blackout sunglasses is ten inch guy, and your heart stops. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You groaned. 

He took of his sunglasses and looks at you now, with a surprised look on his face. “Oh shit, its you!” He exclaimed, 

“It's me.’ You sighed, any semblance of professionalism between the two fo you had gone out the window now, since less that 72 hours ago you had slept together. 

He takes a seat opposite you, a huge grin on his face. “Well, i’ll be damned. Thought i’d never see you again.” He said. 

“Ditto, buddy.” You replied. Feeling a little embarrassed at the whole situation.

“JB or Bucky, call me whatever you like.” He said, leaning back in his chair. Now that it was daylight and you weren’t black out drunk, you notice how devastatingly handsome he actually is. Distractingly so. 

“Y/N Y/L/N.” You said, offering out your hand. 

“Nice to meet you sober Y/N.” Bucky says, with a smirk as he shakes your hand. 

“Right, can we just never talk about that again?” You said, trying to remain as professional as possible. 

“Why not? It was fantastic.” He said chuckling, evidently seeing how uncomfortable it made you. 

“Because we have to work together, and I like my job.” You replied. 

“No one has to know anything, it’ll just be our secret.” He winks at you. 

You sighed and rubbed your temples, this whole situation was going from bad to worse.  
An amused glint appears in his eyes as his gaze wandered over you and he tilts his head to the side, biting his lip as he does so. 

“You look good.” Bucky said.

His comment flusters you and you squirm in your seat, “Shall we get started?” You say, wanting to get this meeting over and done with. It was embarrassing enough that you had slept with him, it was worse now that you were becoming increasingly flustered the longer you stared at his handsome face. 

“Sure, can't wait.” He replied. A smirk on his handsome face, and you just knew how absolutely and royally fucked you were.


	2. We all speak French here!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re a writer, and have never been in love before. Though it’s not for a lack of trying! You are tasked with ghost writing a love story for a famous author and now need some real life inspiration. Until you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes … the ultimate lover boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me some feedback! I love hearing from you guys!

The thing about ghostwriting is the hours of effort you have to put into the work, its long hours and minimum appreciation. Not that you were looking for any appreciation but working for Bucky Barnes was the most tedious ghostwriting job you had ever had. He was the kind of writer who would dictate a story line and then completely change his mind scrapping the entire plot. It had been two weeks since you had started ghostwriting for him and all he liked was one page of your work, the rest he told you to chuck out.

“Oh my fuck my fucking life!” You yelled frustratedly throwing your phone onto the bed, and jumping around.

“What the fuck Y/N?” Wanda said, looking at you in surprise as she was a near victim of your phone assault.

“I can’t stand working with him!” You exclaimed, throwing your hands in the air.

“That Bucky guy?” Wanda asks.

“Yes that asshole.” You sighed, dropping down onto the bed beside her. “He is the most indecisive asshole I have ever met! He doesn’t know anything about love!”

Wanda laughed, “And you do?” she raised her eyebrows.

“No. but I can at least work on one idea and not try about fifty!” You said shoving her shoulder.

“So just talk to him?” Wanda said,

“I have, repeatedly. He doesn’t listen because it’s his book and his head is so far up his own ass he can’t listen to anyone’s advice.” You grumbed, pulling a pillow over your face.

“Well then you’re screwed.” Wanda replied.

“Gee thanks Captain Obvious.” You said.

Beside you Wanda sighed, “Are we going to fuck or not?” She asks.

“Yeah okay, let’s get this over with.” You replied tossing the pillow to the floor beside the bed. Occasionally the two of you slept with each other when you were stressed, it was as she put it for research. You didn’t really care to label it, it was just two friends who fucked, to get rid of some tension and stress.

Two days later you’re in a coffee shop nearby your apartment, trying to get some work done when your phone keeps buzzing.

Becoming increasingly annoyed you finally grabbed it off the table and looked at it.

Eight new messages from Bucky.

‘We should write rain sequence at some point!’ - 3:30PM

‘Or a bridge one! Everyone loves a true love’s kiss on a bridge!’ -3:30PM

‘Do you want to get dinner and discuss it? I know a great place, you would love the cocktails there.’ - 3:31PM

‘How’s the chapter going?’ - 3:32PM

‘Do you need any more help? Any more guidelines? How’s the character building going?’ 3:40PM

‘Make sure the guy is described well, after myself of course. Make the ladies swoon.’ - 3:45PM

‘We should write a sex scene at some point too. Maybe a shower one, shower sex is hot as fuck.’ -4:00PM

‘We could practice it, for research purposes of course.’ 4:05PM

You looked at the sequence of messages from him, and sighed deeply. He hadn’t stopped the flirting since you had started working with him. He was the cockiest most arrogant bastard you had ever met, but he was so deliciously attractive. You knew better than to sleep with him though, you valued your job and couldn’t compromise your integrity as a ghostwriter, not even for Bucky and his gorgeous damn face.

‘Do you have any semblance of patience? Let me write in peace! If you going to keep bugging me about this chapter, I’m going to quit and you will have to write this damn novel yourself.’ - 4:10PM

You type out quickly and hit send. Putting your phone back down onto the counter. You tiredly rubbed your face and then took a deep breath, trying to get back into your writing zone. You were about to put in your headphones when you looked out the window and saw Bucky.

He was with a friend, a tall, blonde, built like a brick shithouse gorgeous friend. You couldn’t help but stare at his friend, he was devastatingly handsome, and you wondered where the fuck all these gorgeous men were being manufactured. Bucky had his arm around the guy’s shoulder animatedly talking to him about something, he kept hitting the guy in his incredibly muscular chest muscle. He had a smile on his face, he was clearly amused by whatever Bucky was saying.

Bucky suddenly sees you in the window of the coffee shop and his face breaks out into an excited smile. You groaned and quickly looked away, the last thing you needed right now was Bucky and his incredibly handsome friend interrupting your writing zone.

He drags the guy by the arm and quickly makes his way into the coffee shop. “Y/N!” Bucky exclaims loudly, and half of the coffee shop turns to look at him and then at you. You shrink down into your seat from embarrassment, wishing the ground would swallow you up.

They both come over to your table, and Bucky immediately takes a seat, practically dragging his friend into the seat beside him.

“Fancy seeing you here.” He said, grinning at you.

“Hi Bucky.” You sighed. You could feel whatever inspiration you had slowly fading away by his presence.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asks, as he takes a look at your laptop screen. “Ooh is this the first chapter?” He says in an excited voice. The hot friend he has with him, just has a polite smile on his face.

You were about to answer but Bucky cuts you off, “Oh hey this is Steve by the way, Stevie this is the woman I was telling you about. She’s my ghostwriter” He says, gesturing towards you with his thumb and nudging Steve.

“Hello Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.” Steve say’s extending his large hand out to you. Even his voice was gorgeous, and it suddenly turned you on.

‘Hi Steve.” You said, gawking almost breathlessly at him. You couldn’t stop looking at his eyes, they were probably the bluest eyes you had ever seen, with just the slightest hint of green in them.

“So, how’s the chapter coming along?” Bucky asks drawing your attention away from Steve.

You looked down at your laptop you had kind of written a rough draft for the first chapter, but you had no inspiration to draw from and it was soul sucking.

“We’re getting there, kind of” You shrugged, “Just need a little inspiration.”

Bucky was suddenly grinning wickedly at you, “Like my texts?”

“No Bucky.” You sighed, “That was not helpful at all.”

“What kind of book are you writing?” Steve asks. You looked at his face again and practically swooned at his perfect mouth, wanting to know what his lips felt like.

“A love story.” Both you and Bucky say in unison.

Steve suddenly started laughing, he gripped Bucky’s shoulder as he did. “You are writing a love story?!” He said looking at his friend incredulously.

“No.” Bucky replied, chuckling with his friend, “She is writing a love story, my name is just going in the authors note.” he said pointing at you.

Steve looked at you, “What, why would you do that?” he asks. “Do you get credited?”

“I’m a ghostwriter, that’s what we do. It’s kind of part of the job to be hidden.” You shrugged.

“Don’t you want the credit though?” Steve asked again,

You shook your head, “Nah, I am more of a behind the scenes writer, plus I get rich without all the pressure.” You joked.

This made both of them laugh, and you suddenly felt like you were staring into the sun with how gorgeous they both were. It made you want to punch them both in the face actually, walking around with such handsome faces should be illegal.

“Anyway, I should get back to work.” You said clearing your throat, hastening their exit. You were entirely distracted by them and no work could get done if you had to keep looking at Steve in that entirely too tight t-shirt of his.

They both stood up to leave when Steve turns back to you, “You should come hang out with us later,” He said. “Maybe I can help find you some of that inspiration, you’re looking for.” He winks at you.

You try your utmost not to blush at his comment, “Uh yeah, thanks but I have plans.” You replied, mentally kicking yourself for lying.

Steve looks a little disappointed, and Bucky cuts in. “Don’t ask my ghostwriter on a date, Punk.” He says, hitting Steve on the back of the head. “She’s got a book to write and you’re going to distract her!”

Steve laughs at Bucky’s comment, and shoves him playfully. “It’s not a date! It’s just a friendly invite, jerk.” Steve said.

You kind of liked the playful ease their friendship has, its cute. They seemed really close. “Thanks for the offer though.” You said with a smile, before both of them said goodbye and took their leave.

You watched as they exited the coffee shop, and walked out into the bustling street. Multiple girls turned their heads as the two of them walked passed them. They were oblivious to the obvious looks of awe and lust they were getting. They walked beside each other, entertaining each other in their own little world.

Your life was suddenly a little more interesting since meeting them.

Saturday 8:07PM

It’s a typical Saturday night, you find yourself at a packed bar with Natasha and Wanda. The three of you, 3 margaritas in to the evening, and ordering nachos from the bar already.

“We should go to Westlight.” Wanda said, taking a sip of her pink colored margarita. Natasha vehemently shook her head at this suggestion.

“Not on a Saturday night, it’s full of stuffy wall street types.” She said.

“Okay what about that dive bar, down in midtown?” Wanda said.

“No.” Both you and Nat say. That place was a shithole, and you had way too many bad black out drunk memories.

“Or we could just stay here.” Wanda sighed.

“I am so okay with that, This place is fine, besides where else am I going to get a pink margarita and a bartender that hits on me and gives us free tequila.” You said, raising your glass with a grin at the bartender. He gives you a nod and smiles at you.

“So what are we doing tonight? Are we going black out drunk or shall we just get tipsy and hit on some boys?” Natasha asked.

“I vote option number two.” You say, “I’m feeling pretty tonight” You added with a laugh.

“I agree, I have had way too many blackout drunk nights lately.” Wanda said nodding her head.

“Alright well, get more drinks then, I’m going to the bathroom and then we can find some cute boys to hit on.” Natasha said, excitedly as if the three of you hadn’t done this almost every weekend of your lives.

As the night continues the three of you get tipsier and loosen up more. It’s always fun hanging out with the two of them.

“Ooh ooh I spy a cute guy, he just walked in.” Natasha said, swatting your arm. You and Wanda both turned to the door to look.

“Ok don’t both of you look at the same time!” She exclaimed softly.

You laughed and looked away giving Wanda a chance to look first. “Oh my fucking soul, he is gorgeous.” Wanda gasped, grabbing your arm and shaking it.

You couldn’t resist not looking anymore and you turned to look along with the two of them. “Ah fucking hell.” You groaned,

“What?” Nat asks confused,

“That’s the author I am ghostwriting for.” You sighed. How did he always show up wherever you were, it was actually becoming uncanny.

“That’s your author?” Wanda exclaimed, “I would so fuck him.”

“Oh wait Y/N already has.” Natasha added with a cackle. They both laughed at the joke that you didn’t think was funny in the least.

“He’s ten inch guy!?” Wanda said. “Well, don’t mind if I do.” she gets up from her seat and grabs two shots of tequila off the tray Natasha had just ordered.

“Wanda, no what are you doing.?” You hissed at her. But she ignores you and makes her way towards the table Bucky is now seated at.

You hold your head in your hands as you watch her walk over to Bucky and place the shot in front of him. He looks up at her startled for a moment, then a smile spreads across his face as she talks to him for a moment, then they both look over at your table. You and Natasha quickly look away trying to act natural. A few moments later, Wanda comes back to the table with Bucky.

“Well well, look who it is.” Bucky said, in that cocky voice of his. A smirk on his handsome face.

“Hey Bucky.” You replied, smiling at him. You really didn’t want to hang out with him especially not when you spent almost every waking moment with him, when you were writing his book.

He takes a seat opposite you and looks at Natasha, his gaze sweeping over her and he bites his lower lip. “Nat this is Bucky, my would be boss.” You introduced them.

He held out his hand to shake hers, grinning at her like he was undressing her in his mind. Which you knew was probably true.

“Nice to me you Natasha,” He basically coos at her. And you see Nat blush as she greeted him, you threw Wanda an annoyed look for bringing him over to the table and she just shrugs.

“So what are you ladies up to tonight?” He asks, looking pointedly at you.

“We’re looking for hot guys to hit on.” Natasha said with a smile.

Bucky raised an eyebrow and smirks. “Oh really?”

“No. No we are definitely not doing that.” You replied, glaring at Natasha. Wanda who is sitting next to you is just laughing at this whole situation, annoying you more.

“Well I happen to be the hottest guy at this table, but you’re not hitting on me.” Bucky said to Natasha.

Natasha giggled, evidently charmed by Bucky’s demeanor. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and flirted right back.

“Who said I wasn’t going to hit on you?” She asked flirtily.

“Okay then.” You cut in, “You have a nice night Bucky.” Hoping he would take a hint and would leave. The last thing you needed was Natasha sleeping with him, or falling for his bullshit and you having to deal with that. It would just complicate things.

Bucky laughed and raised his hands in surrender, clearly getting what you were hinting. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.” He said as he looked across the bar and his face suddenly broke out into a smile, he raised his hand to signal whoever it was he was smiling it.

You follow his gaze and see Steve making his way across the packed room. Looking ridiculously gorgeous, even more so than the last time you saw him.

Beside you Wanda gripped your forearm as you both look at him.

“Oh my god, that is the tallest drink of water I have ever seen.” She murmured to you.

“I know right.” You said back to her.

“I’d like to ride him like…” Wanda began to say but stops short when Steve comes up to the table.

Both you and her suddenly have grins on your faces. Staring at him like idiots, you couldn’t help it, he was gorgeous.

“Hey Buck.” Steve says greeting his friend, then turns to you. “Hi Y/N” he said, giving you a smile that made you grip Wanda’s hand tightly.

“Hi Steve.” You greeted him almost breathlessly. feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush. You could feel yourself blushing and becoming giddy.

“I’m Wanda and that’s Nat” Wanda said, seeing you were a little awestruck by him to talk.

Steve greets them and then turns to Bucky. “Sam here yet?” He asked.

Bucky nodded and pointed to his table at the other end of the bar. “Yeah he is here, with a couple of other buddies from the force.” Bucky replied.

Steve nods, and then looks at you. “I’m assuming you’re joining us for the evening?” He asks.

You looked at Natasha and then at Wanda, both of them nodding eagerly at you. “I guess we are.” You shrugged,

You see Bucky pull a face at you and open his mouth to say something but you kicked him underneath the table and he yelps out in surprise. So the three of you join their table and are introduced to Sam, Thor and Pietro, all members of the fire department, all ridiculously handsome and athletic looking and the three of you felt like you’d died and gone to hot guy heaven.

“So, how’s the writing going?” Steve asked you. He sat beside you, arm around the back of your seat, chest facing you. He was wearing a tight grey t-shirt, and it was incredibly hard for you not to stare at his muscular chest beneath it.

Across the table Wanda sat between Sam and Thor, thoroughly enjoying the attention she was receiving from both men. Natasha had disappeared from the table, assuming she had met some guy at the bar.

“Poorly, if I’m being honest.” You laughed, taking a sip of your drink. You were getting drunker faster as these guys could drink for days, in fact they were throwing back shots like it was water. They were all rather large so it made sense that it took a lot to get them drunk.

“Why poorly?” Steve asked again,

“Because I am shit at writing love stories.” You replied.

“No boyfriend to draw inspiration from?” He says, winking at you.

“Nope.” You shrugged.

“Past experiences?” Steve said.

You shake your head, and he frowns at you with a confused smile on his face.

“You’ve never been in love before?” He said, sounding confused.

“No.”

“How?” Steve leans closer to you as the music gets louder and you can feel the heat radiating off his body.

“Just haven’t.” You said.

Before Steve could reply, Bucky came back to the table with more shots and placed them down.

Sam groaned when Bucky handed him a shot. “Man, some of us have to work tomorrow.” He said, but still took it from him.

“Don’t be a pussy, Wilson.” Bucky retorted, as he passed the rest of the shots around. Lastly he placed on in front of you and then Steve.

“Drink up fuckers.” He said, giving you an eat shit grin.

The rest of the night suddenly became a blur. There was more alcohol, and then dancing at a club you had no idea where, Wanda came with you but Natasha had left with a guy she had met. The music was loud and the club was dark, and as you danced with Steve who turned out to be a great dance, alcohol reducing all inhibitions, Steve’s hands were all over your and vice versa, there was making out and grinding and whispers of how much you wanted to fuck each other. 

Before you knew it, you were drunkenly stumbling into your apartment. Shedding your clothes, Steve’s mouth was on yours, fervently kissing you. In the dark, you blindly stumble into the bedroom, and fall onto the bed, already naked. Steve paused at the foot of the bed and pulls of his t-shirt, his muscles rippling as he did so.

Then he was on top of you, between your legs, kissing you again. Your hands can’t get enough of his body, you trail them across his broad shoulders, his muscular chest, down to his toned torso.

You palm his member through his jeans, it’s hard and you can feel the significant length, fumbling with his zipper you urge him to get naked. Steve obliges you and takes them off in one motion before dipping his hand between your legs, you gasped at the sudden touch to your core. His fingers lazily circling your clit, becoming slicker as you got wetter.

You moaned against his touch, as he sucks a bruise on your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. He nips and sucks at the skin, each time you moaned a little louder, that combined with his fingers at your core, was driving you insane.

Steve suddenly gets up and reaches down into the pocket of his jeans on the floor and pulls out a condom putting it on before he lines himself up with your entrance and in one fluid motion pushes his cock into you. Digging your nails into his back and arching yourself off the bed in pleasure as he does so. He begins to move, slow at first but then picking up the pace, each thrust more pleasurable than the next. He had you moaning his name repeatedly, until you came multiple times in multiple positions.

The next morning when you awoke, you were hit with a headache the size of the empire state building. You groaned and rolled over, turning face first into a muscular chest. Your eyes flew open and you practically fell out of the bed. Startling Steve awake.

“What the hell…” He murmured, tiredly squinting around at the room.

You scrambled to your feet and grabbed the first item of clothing you could find. Steve’s t-shirt. And pulled it on.

Steve’s gaze fell onto you. “Hi.” You said awkwardly, pulling the hem of the t-shirt lower to hide your nakedness beneath it.

“Morning.” Steve replied, yawning. “What time is it?” He asked.

You looked at the clock on the side of the bed, “6:22” You replied. Steve sat up slowly, groaning and holding his head. Even waking up after a night out, Steve still looked like he was on the cover of a magazine. His blonde hair messy, and his sleepy voice was everything. Essentially he was flawless.

“Fuck me, I feel like shit” He said, getting out of the bed and stretching. He was entirely naked and his naked body looked like it was sculpted by Da Vinci himself.

You didn’t know what to say, so you just kinda awkwardly stood there. “So last night happened.” Steve said as he picked up his underwear and pulled it on.

“Yeah it did.” You replied.

“Bathroom?” He says.

“What?”

“Can I use the bathroom?” He repeats.

“Oh yeah sure, through there.” You gestured at the bathroom door. Steve nods and then heads into it, shutting the door behind him.

As soon as he closes the bathroom door, you sprint into your closet and grab a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. You run a brush through your hair, toss back a couple of mints and try and fix the remnants of last nights makeup on your face so that you look semi decent and not like a hot mess.

Just as you finished fixing yourself up, Steve comes out of the bathroom, wearing his dark jeans from last night, still shirtless. You both pause and look at each other, and it feels awkward again. You usually sneak out on your one night stands, and never bring them back to your place. So you had no idea how to deal with this situation.

“I uh should get going then.” Steve said smiling at you. And suddenly you found yourself wanting to ask him to stay for breakfast.

“Yeah, uh yeah, cool.” You stuttered, mentally kicking yourself for acting so awkward. You were holding his t-shirt in your hand, as you led him to the front door. Opening it Steve steps out and then turns around to face you.

“So I guess I’ll see you around Y/N.” He said, giving you a quick kiss on your mouth. You were kind of taken aback by the sudden kiss. “Thanks for last night.” 

“Yes, yeah, uhm you will and You’re welcome I think” You replied, shaking your head and blinking rapidly.

He holds out his hand and you look at it and then placed your hand in his. It was weird and you had no idea what he was doing. Steve suddenly laughs,

“Uhh my t-shirt? Kinda need that to leave.” He says with a laugh, and you suddenly realize why he as holding out his hand and felt like a complete idiot.

“Oh fuck sorry.” You said quickly shoving his shirt into his hand.

Steve laughs again, then salutes you before he pulls on his t-shirt. “See you around gorgeous.” Steve said, then walks away.

You didn’t even reply, you slam the door shut and bang your head against it, groaning at how stupid you had acted.

“God dammit Y/N, you idiot.” You groaned at yourself. Sighing deeply at the massive effect Steve Rogers had on you.


	3. Love stories suck!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re a writer, and have never been in love before. Though it’s not for a lack of trying! You are tasked with ghost writing a love story for a famous author and now need some real life inspiration. Until you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes … the ultimate lover boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy I guess? :)

“Ugh I hate love stories!” You groaned, covering your face with one of the throw pillows from Bucky’s couch.

The two of you were sat in his living room, watching romantic movies, trying to draw some inspiration for the next chapter of the book. You were on a time crunch to provide two more chapters for his editors before the weekend and it was Thursday.

“You and me both..” Bucky said, from his seat on the floor. Neither of you were getting any work done, it had been an entire afternoon of eating popcorn, and candies and throwing shit at the TV booing whenever there was a romantic scene.

“So what next?” Bucky asked, getting up onto the couch beside you.

“Well we have the notebook and Dear John, which one do you want to start with?” You said.

Bucky just shook his head, “No, no more Romantic movies.” He said, “I need an action movie or I’m going to blow my brains out.”

“Bucky we have work to do, we can’t dick around.” You sighed.

“Come on! You can’t be serious about watching another one? We have hit a wall, let’s just take a break.” He argued.

“Okay you watch the action movie and I’ll get some work done.” You replied pulling your laptop off the coffee table and opening it.

Bucky grumbled something under his breath about you being boring but he didn’t protest, he turned his attention to the TV where he turned on MadMax Fury road. You got started on typing away at the new chapter, using the inspiration you had drawn from the romantic movies to paint a sickly sweet image of this perfect couple and perfect true love situation.

You got lost in your writing and a little while later, you looked at from your laptop to see Bucky intensely staring at the TV screen.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“Shh shh this is the best part!” He shushed you with his hand not looking at you.

“Have you never seen this movie before?” You laughed.

“I have, I just love this movie okay.” He defends himself.

You just shake your head at him and get up off the couch. Needing something to eat, in the weeks that you had worked with Bucky you had kind of become used to his apartment. Making yourself at home as it were, that’s the way he wanted it.

“Hey I have a question?” Bucky says getting up and trailing after you as you made your way to the kitchen.

“Hmm…” You replied.

“Why don’t you want to be a published author?” Bucky asked. “I mean don’t get me wrong I’m glad you’re helping me but you are an amazing writer, you don’t want to be published?”

“Just not my thing, I like being a ghostwriter. It’s weirdly fulfilling.” You replied. Opening the fridge and rummaging through it for something to eat.

“Makes sense, I suppose.” He said, taking a seat at the island counter.

“Can I ask you something?” Bucky says again.

“Just ask Bucky, my god.” You said, pulling out a bowl of grapes and taking a seat opposite him at the island counter.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” He said. Leaning his forearms and looking at you.

“So that’s a personal question.” You retorted popping a grape into your mouth.

Bucky chuckled, “Come on, tell me. I hardly know anything about you, and we have been working together for almost a month.” He said.

“You don’t need to know anything about me except that I am a great writer and your book is going to be great because of me.” You joked.

“Answer me, or I’m just going to keep asking.” Bucky said nonchalantly.

“Okay, okay. I just don’t find the whole relationship thing worthwhile.” You shrug.

“Why?”

“It’s a long story.” You said.

“We have time.” Bucky said grinning at you.

“No we don’t. But now my turn to ask a question” you replied.

“Shoot.” He said.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” You joked with a laugh.

“I did.” Bucky replied, with a serious face.

You suddenly sit straight up and look at him , with your mouth slightly open from shock. “What?!” You exclaimed. “When? And who?”

“A couple years back, and I’m not telling you who that’s weird.” Bucky laughed.

“Can I guess who it is?” You said,

“No.” He said, pulling a face at you.

“Why’d you guys break up?” You asked, wanting to know more about this whole situation.

“Just did, we wanted different things from life but we’re still friends, so we got that going for us.” Bucky replied.

You paused and ate another grape, looking at him. Trying to think who it could be. It was great that he was being so frank with you. And it was kind of nice that he was open about being bisexual.

“That’s interesting. Have I met him?” You asked.

“No no, now it’s my turn to ask the questions” Bucky said shaking his head.

“I’ll answer more questions when we finish the next chapter of your book Bucky.” You said, tossing a grape at him, playfully.

“Fine fine, I’m holding you to that.” He replied giving you a smirk.

A few days later, Walking out of the meeting with the editors, you sighed deeply. They had liked the first five chapters of the book thankfully. But Pepper read it and was now demanding more romance, she thought the story was too aloof and not emotional enough.

In her words, “Put more effort into learning about love, this bullshit seems like it’s written by a child.” She said.

You sat down at your desk, dropping your head onto your desk with a thump. “That bad?” Scott asked, rolling himself in his chair to your side.

“She was in the worst mood.” You sighed. “I hate this project.”

“So go tell Luke to take you off the project?” He said.

You lifted your head up and looked at him, “I can’t do that, the fucking CEO gave me this project. I have to finish it.”

“How long do you have?” Scott asked, giving you a sympathetic look.

“A year.” You said with a sigh.

Scott was about to reply, but he stopped for some reason and was looking passed you. You frowned at him and followed his gaze. Your mouth fell open in surprise when you see Steve Rogers walking through the office escorted by one of the front desk girls, she was smiling widely at him, talking to him. He had a polite smile on his face as he listened to her talk.

“Oh no.” You groaned,

“What? Do you know him?” Scott asked.

“Fuck my life.” You sighed and quickly stood u p making your way towards him. Steve’s smile widened when he saw you.

“Hey Y/N.” Steve greeted, he was about to hug you but you grabbed his arm and practically dragged him into the nearest conference room.

“Whoa hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, seemingly confused.

“What are you doing here?” You exclaimed at him.

“I’m here to see you.” Steve replied with a grin.

“Why?”

“Because I was in the area and I’m hungry and thought you’d want to get food?” He shrugged.

“Why?” You repeated making a face. “And how did you know where I work?”

“Isn’t that what friends do?” Steve replied, furrowing his brow. “And JB told me.”

“Oh are we friends now?” You retorted, with a sigh. “Who the fuck is JB?” You added, confused.

“Uhhh are we not?” He said. “And James Buchanan? You know the guy whose book you’re writing.” Steve raised an eyebrow at you.

“I hung out with you like twice! I work for your friend, also we fucked. I am not friends with people I fuck.” You replied. “His name is James Buchanan, oh my god.” You were having two conversations at the same time with Steve.

Steve chuckled, “So that’s a stupid rule.” he laughed, “And yes, Old fashioned as fuck.”

“No, it’s a smart rule. Things get complicated when you fuck you friends.” You say. Crossing your arms over your chest. “James Buchanan huh.” You added again, making a mental note to tease Bucky about that later.

“No it’s a stupid rule.” Steve repeated, moving closer towards you.

“Steve, You shouldn’t be here I could get into trouble for this.” You sighed.

“Why? I am just a friend visiting another friend.” He grinned, his smile was distractingly handsome, it lit up his eyes whenever he did so.

“We’re not friends remember.” You said.

“Oh we will be.” He winked at you. His gaze wanders across your body, and he runs his tongue across his lower lip. You almost moaned at how sexual it looked. He was staring at you like he had fucked you before, which he had but he was making it so obvious.

“Ok, get out. I’m not having lunch with you and stop looking at me like that.” You shooed him out the door of the conference room.

“Looking at you like what, sweetheart?” Steve said, acting innocent, but he had a smirk on his face.

“Like you have seen me naked.” You hissed at him nervously looking around to see if anyone was closeby. The last thing you needed was people knowing how you knew Steve.

Steve laughed, “but I have, and it was glorious.” He said, leaning in closer to you.

“Shut up.” You groaned, hitting him on the shoulder. It was like hitting a brick wall he was so toned.

“Fine, fine. I won’t say anymore.” Steve chuckled raising his hands and backing away from you. A devastating smile on his face. “But you will be my friend, Y/N. I’ll make sure of it.” he winked at you as he backed out of the office.

You couldn’t help but smile at him, as hard as you tried not to. “See ya gorgeous.” Steve said grinning devilishly at you as he walked out of the office.

“Goodbye Steve..” You said, but he had already left by the time you replied. You scrunched up your face in a wince and groaned. Slapping your forehead with the palm of your hand. Why did you have to act like such an idiot whenever Steve was around. It was so embarrassing.

It was a few days later when you received a message from a number that was not saved in your phone.

‘Are you available Friday?’ - 10:34AM

You frowned down at your phone, you rarely every got texts from numbers not saved in your phone because you never gave your number to anyone.

‘Who is this?’ - 10:35AM. You hit send and put your phone back down on the side table. A second later it buzzed again.

‘Oh shit sorry, its Steve. Steve who is not your friend?’ - 10:35AM

You looked at the message and were suddenly smiling. How the fuck had he gotten you number and why was he so adamant on hanging out with you.

‘Why are you texting me we aren’t friends and no I am not free Friday, your friend has me working.’ - 10:36AM

You waited a few seconds before his reply came through.

‘I’m texting you as a non friend and i’ll free you up for Friday then.’ - 10:36AM

‘Steve stop texting me, and no I have a book to write. Goodbye.’ - 10:37AM

‘Oh come on, just let me see you, as strictly non friends of course.’ - 10:37AM

‘No.” - 10:38M

‘Okay, then can I fuck you again? As non friends.’ - 10:39AM

‘Ha ha very funny Steve. I am going to block you. Goodbye.’ - 10:39AM.

‘Fine, but you are going to break eventually and then you’ll have to see me ;). Cheers gorgeous.’ - 10:40AM

Even though your message seemed serious you were laughing at his messages. It was so light hearted, and jovial. Putting your phone down, you looked at your laptop again, and began writing.

“What are you smiling at?” Bucky’s voice snaps you back to reality and you stop grinning like an idiot.

“Nothing.” You reply nonchalantly.

“Lies, I know that smile.” he said, narrowing his eyes at you.

“No you dont.”

“Is it a boy? Did you get laid?” He suddenly asks.

“What, no. That’s a personal question and therefore inappropriate.” You snorted, and continued to type away not looking at him.

“Y/N, I have been inside you. There are no inappropriate questions between us.” Bucky laughed.

“God dammit.” You exclaimed and threw the nearest object around you at him. “You said we weren’t going to bring that up ever again!”

This made Bucky laugh harder as he dodged out of the way of an empty water bottle that you had thrown at him. “As long as I get that reaction out of you, i’ll never stop bringing it up.” he said.

“Asshole.” You muttered shaking your head.

Bucky shrugged childishly, and then went back to looking at his laptop before him. The two of you were sat in his apartment once more. Brainstorming new ideas for the book, or basically just trying to get any inspiration for the next five chapters.

A few more hours go by and it’s almost sunet and you’re making good progress on the next chapter, Bucky is giving feedback, you’re writing. You’re working insync and it’s great, that is until fucking Steve Rogers walks in.

At first you didn’t hear him, Bucky had gone to get dinner for the two of you and you plugged in your headphones. Drowning out external distractions and tried to get as much writing done as you could. You were intently typing away when a large hand squeezed your shoulder, causing you to scream loudly and dive out of your seat. Practically catapulting across the living room.

Your laptop clattered to the floor, beside the table. And you yelped again trying to save it when your eyes met Steve’s. They are bright and blue and highly amused.

“S-steve!” you stammered, you were on your knees before him now. He towered over you, looking down at you, his eyebrow raised and an amused smile on his face.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked. Reaching down and offering you a hand to help you up.

You accept his offer and grip his large hand, as he pulls you to your feet. Your bodies now a few inches away from each other as he held your hand in his. He was wearing a tight white t-shirt, it clung to his physique so much so that he might as well have been shirtless, that’s how little it left to the imagination.

“You scared the shit out of me.” You breathed, staring into his intensely blue eyes.

“I’m sorry, I thought you heard me come in.” Steve murmured. His eyes moving to your lips.

“I had headphones in.” You said.

“I noticed.”

You both just stare into each other eyes for a moment. Steve still holding your hand, you can feel the heat radiating off his body. He suddenly leans closer to you as if he were about to kiss you and then you hear Bucky clear his throat in the doorway.

You immediately step back from Steve, pulling your hand away. Feeling yourself flush with embarrassment.

“What’s going on guys?” Bucky asked. Walking into the room, looking between you and Steve.

“I frightened her.” Steve shrugged, “She didn’t hear me come in.”

“Uh yeah, my laptop fell and I tried to catch it and I missed it and Steve was trying to help.” You stuttered over your words. Barely able to be coherent at this point.

Bucky had a smirk on his face as he looked over you and then back at Steve. “Uh huh, seems very plausible.” he said sarcastically, as he set the pizza boxes on the coffee table.

“You staying for dinner?” Bucky asked Steve. His friend just nods and drops down onto the couch, and turns on the TV. You awkwardly pick your laptop off the floor, praying to god that it is okay, and then set it back onto the table.

The moment with Steve was so weirdly intense, it rattled you. Bucky comes up beside you and leans down to whisper in your ear. “Do you have a crush on Steve?” He whispers. Again, you are startled and shied away quickly almost falling out of your chair.

Bucky’s arm reaches out and catches you before you fall, steadying you in your seat. “What the fuck Y/N. jumpy much?!” Bucky laughed softly. The two of you are a few feet away from Steve so he can’t hear anything you’re saying but he looks over at you two for a moment then turns his attention back to the TV.

“Personal space Bucky!” You hissed at him, shoving his face away from yours. He laughed and took seat beside you, leaning close to you till his face is almost touching yours.

“So, do you have a crush on Stevie?” He whispers. You throw a glance at Steve on the couch, he isn’t paying any attention to what you and Bucky are doing. He is blissfully eating pizza and watching TV. looking like a fine glass of wine while he does it.

“No I do not.” You said, pushing Bucky’s face away from yours again.

“Seems like you do.” He chuckled. “I mean he is a very handsome guy, I’d fuck him.”

“Shut up Bucky.” You groaned softly becoming flustered.

“Oh man, It’s so obvious, look at you.” Bucky laughed, loudly this time and Steve turned to look at you two again.

“What are you two whispering about?” Steve asks, getting up off the couch and making his way over to the table you sat at. Bringing the box of pizza with him.

“Nothing.” You said quickly,

“You.” Bucky said at the same time as you did.

Steve looked between the two of you with a grin. “So which is it?” he said, pointedly looking at you.

“Nothing.” You replied, then stood up. “I should go.”

“No stay for dinner.” Steve insists.

Bucky leans back in his chair and says nothing, he just watches you and Steve with a smirk on his face.

“I can’t.” You said.

“Why?”

“I have plans.”

“You said you had to work tonight.” Steve said, with an amused look on his face.

“I changed my plans.” You retorted crossing your arms and looking down at him.

“Uh huh…” Was all Steve said as he swept his gaze over you again. You sighed, really needing to get away from him. He made your knees weak and all you wanted to do was kiss him, and do other stuff to him.

“Okay then” You said, packing up your laptop and grabbing your bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow Bucky.” You said,

“Night Y/N.” Bucky said, still grinning like an idiot at how flustered you were.

They watched as you rushed out of the apartment, and heard you slam the door behind you. Bucky turned to Steve, looking at him from across the table.

“What the hell are you doing Rogers?” Bucky asked, with a laugh.

Steve looked at him, “What?” He shrugged,

“Don’t fuck this up for me man.” Bucky warned, “I need her.”

Steve looked at the place where you had been a few moments ago and grinned widely. “Nah, i’m not going to fuck this up for you.” he replied.

“Steve, I’m serious.” Bucky repeated.

He looked back at his friend, “So am I, I’m going to marry that girl.” Steve stated.

Bucky didn’t say anything, he just blinked at Steve, stunned by his confession.

The entire cab ride home you were having a mental argument with yourself over the way you acted in front of Steve. He flustered you so much, he was so attractive and charming and you just couldn’t stand it. 

When you got home, you tossed your bag and laptop on your bed and immediately picked up the your phone and hit speed dial.

“Hey B.” Wanda’s voice sounds through the receiver.

“Hey, You busy?” You asked.

“Nope, what’s up?” She replied.

“I need a distraction.”

There was a pause from Wanda’s side. “Okay come over.”

“Thanks see you in five.” You replied and then hung up.

You hurriedly changed your clothes and freshen up before you headed over to Wanda’s place with a bottle of tequila. That always seemed to help clear your mind and distract you long enough for you to forget your problems.

“Hey B.” Wanda greets you with a quick hug and kiss on the cheek when you walked into her apartment.

“Hi.” You replied, handing her the bottle of tequila.

She looked at it, taking it from you and then back at you, “That bad huh?”

“It’s a conundrum.” You sighed as you followed her into the kitchen.

“Want to talk about it?” Wanda asked, as she got busy making the two of you a drink with the gin she already had out.

“You remember that Steve guy right?” You said, and Wanda nods, waiting for you to continue.

“I have a little crush on him.” You groaned, “And he is so distractingly perfect, and charming and pretty! I can’t deal, and he want to be my friend.” You added air quotes to the last part.

“Have you slept with him yet?” Wanda asks, placing a drink in front of you and taking a seat at the table.

“Yes.” You sighed.

“Ahh I see…” She mused, “So you’re pulling a typical Y/N, sleep with them and then avoid them at all costs?”

You threw her a look and then took a sip of your drink. “I am trying to do that but he just keeps finding ways to be around me or talk to me, and I am going to end up sleeping with him again.’ You wailed.

Wanda laughed, “Would that be the worst thing? He is gorgeous!”

You took three big sips from your glass and placed it back down. “You know the answer to that Wanda.” You sighed.

She was quiet for a moment, “So what are you going to do? Because you know what happened last time this type of situation arose.” She said softly.

You look at her. Wanda better than anyone knows you and how you think and act. She’s been there through break ups and make ups and pretty much everything. She probably out of everyone is your best friend.

“I don’t know, I am fucked.” You muttered, slumping down in your seat.

“Well, that’s why I’m here. Lets get drunk and distract you, shall we?” She says, raising her glass and clinking it with you.

“Yes, let’s.” Was all you said before you downed your drink.

You spend the rest of the night using Wanda as a distraction from your issues. You drink and laugh, and the drunker you both got the kinkier you got with each other. It was a weirdly satisfying friendship and before you knew it, you were in be with her like always. Both of you using the other a distraction from whatever the real issue was.


	4. Writers block and a cock block

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re a writer, and have never been in love before. Though it’s not for a lack of trying! You are tasked with ghost writing a love story for a famous author and now need some real life inspiration. Until you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes … the ultimate lover boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda took my time with this chapter. but I really hope you guys like it! Drop me some feedback, I’m a needy bitch who needs validation all the time lol.

The worst part about having writer’s block is the inevitability of it happening to every single writer out there at least four times or more during the course of your writing. When you got writer’s block it was the most helpless feeling, you would sit for hours in front of your laptop unable to write even a single word.

Sunday morning you woke up, and hopped out of bed, ready and eager to start writing. You make yourself a pot of coffee and sit down in front of your laptop. Then out of nowhere you hit a brick wall, three hours later, after typing and erasing and typing and erasing the same paragraph over and over you frustratedly slammed your laptop closed and groaned angrily.

You stand up and begin to pace across the living room, racking your brain as to why you’ve hit this block. You had been holed up in your apartment for a week now, writing and not really going out but it had been good for you. You had gotten another two chapters of the book written and that was necessary considering you had a deadline approaching.

Grabbing your phone off the couch, you unlocked it and begin to scroll through the unchecked messages you had. There were multiple from Natasha and Wanda, asking to hang out. A few from Bucky, and one from your boss Luke.

You sighed and replied to all the messages. Then tossed your phone back onto the couch, tiredly running your eyes. You had to do something to cure this writer’s block and as soon as possible.

A sudden idea popped into your head, you picked up your phone again and quickly scroll through your contacts, before finding the person you’re looking for a hit dial.

“Whaddya need?” Bucky answered.

“I have writer’s block.” You sighed, neither of you bothering to greet each other, it had become a thing now. The now casualness of your relationship allowed this.

“Fucking fuck.” Bucky muttered, “Give me an hour, i’ll be over.”

“Hurry.” You replied and then hung up.

True to his word Bucky arrived at your doorstep an hour later, with a duffle bag in tow.

“Hi.” You greet him as you open the door,

“Pack your shit we’re going on a trip.” He replies,, walking into your apartment and tossing his bag to the floor.

“What?” You say confused.

“No time for questions, go go go!” He shooed you towards your bedroom.

He trails after you as you go into your bedroom and into the closet, “What am I packing for? Hot or cold?” You called out from the closet.

Bucky stuck his head into the closet door, “Hot.” he replied, as he leaned against the door frame and watched you take out different items of clothing.

“How long are we going for?” You asked Bucky.

He just shrugged, “Till we get rid of your writer’s block.” He replied.

“Why are you in my closet Bucky?” You sighed as you pushed passed him, and grabbed a bag from one of the racks.

“Because why not?” Was his nonchalant reply.

“Get out.” You said, pushing him by his chest out of your closet. He stumbles back with a laugh and lets you guide him out. You dumped your clothes on the bed, and Bucky drops down onto the bed, watching you pack.

“Pack your bikini.” he stated, with a grin.

“No, why?”

“Trust me you’re going to want to pack one.” Bucky said.

You sighed and made your way back to your closet grabbing three different kinds and then tossed them into your bag, along with the rest of your items.

“Done.” you said a few minutes later, as you zipped your bag closed. Bucky gets off the bed and grins at you,

“Let’s get the fuck out of here then.” Bucky says, and grabs your bags for you.

“So where are we going?” You asked as the two of you walked out of your apartment, and you locked the door behind you.

“You’ll see.” Was all he said, as he led you to the car.

“Okay then, this is not weird at all.” You muttered climbing into the passenger seat. You probably should be asking more questions but you didn’t care at this point, anything to help your writer’s block, you would take.

Two hours later, you jolt awake as the car comes to a stop. Looking around confused, you see a driveway leading up to a large wooden deck and double doors leading into a sprawling beach home, which had massive glass windows.

“Are we in the Hamptons?” You asked, looking at him.

“Yup, come on.” Bucky gets out the car, not waiting for you as he grabs the bags and steps up the wooden deck and goes into the house.

You pensively follow him into the house. Regretting not asking him more about the place you were going to, even though the home was absolutely breathtaking. When you walked in, you were absolutely blown away at just how stunning the house was.

Everything was glass, and white and beige wood. The massive windows facing the beach illuminated the entire house, brightening it up. It was nothing like anything you had seen before. You could definitely get some writing done in a place like this. It was quiet and peaceful. Every writer’s dream. 

Bucky is in the living room, dropping the bags on the floor when you walked in behind him. “Geez, is this yours?” You asked, going to one of the massive windows and admiring the view.

“No, Steve’s.” He replied. Coming over to where you stood, “Impressive view huh?” He says.

“Damn, what does Steve do?” You ask. You never would have expected him to own a place like this, he seemed so laid back and definitely not in control of his life.

“This and that,” Bucky said with a smirk.

You looked at him, “Seriously, what does he do?” You pressed.

“Ask him yourself.” Bucky retorted, turning away from the window, and moving to one of the luxurious looking couches, dropping down onto it.

“But I’m asking you.” You roll your eyes, following him and taking a seat as well.

“And I’m choosing to ignore your questions.” bucky shrugged, with a laugh. “So, think we can combat your writer’s block here?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Oh yes, definitely.” You said, nodding your head eagerly. You were already feeling your creativity sparking to life, a couple of days here would open your mind to a whole list of new possibilities.

“Good, we have tonight alone before everyone else arrives.” Bucky stated.

“Wait, what?” You said, suddenly sitting up straight and looking at him, “Who is everyone else?”

“Steve, Sam, Thor, probably Pietro and a couple of other guys.” Bucky replied.

“And why are they coming? I thought the point of this was for me to clear my writers block.” You sighed.

“That’s exactly what we’re doing Miss Y/L/N, nothing like a beach party, couple of random hookups and a shit ton of tequila to get those creative juices flowing.” Bucky grinned at you.

You groaned loudly and covered your face with one of the throw pillows. “Buckyyy, that is not what I need! In fact that is the opposite of what i need!” You threw the pillow at him, and he caught it easily. “Plus what the fuck am I going to do in a house full of boys?” You said, frowning at him.

“You’re more than welcome to invite your friends.” He shrugged, “There’s enough space in this house for like twelve people.” he gestures to the staircase. He probably wasn’t wrong, this house was fucking massive.

You mulled over it for a moment, Natasha and Wanda would absolutely lose their shit over this place, plus a weekend away in the Hamptons that was free and came with cute boys, your cheap asses could never say no.

Although you knew you would never get any writing done if they were all here, it seemed like a terrible idea. But being the dumbass that you were, sighed and agreed with Bucky.

“Okay, i’ll invite Nat and Wanda up then.” You replied, getting up and taking your phone out to call them.

That evening, you and Bucky sat on the deck overlooking the ocean and sipped on crisp Dom. He had made the most fantastic dinner after you had both taken a serious nap, in separate rooms of course.

“I would absolutely kill to live like this.” You said, taking a sip of the cold champagne and leaning back in your chair.

“Yeah, this is the life.” Bucky agreed.

“You do know we’re going to get absolutely no work done here.” You said looking at Bucky.

He looked back at you and grinned, “Yeah but at least this is a good distraction.” He replied.

You shrugged in agreement it was nice that he was trying to help your writer’s block. Even though it all stemmed from the fact that it was his book that you were writing and he needed you to not have a block.

“Can I ask you a question?” Bucky said. Turning to face you, he leans back in his chair, arm over the back.

“Shoot.” You mutter, taking another sip of your drink.

“Why can’t you write love stories?” He asks.

“It’s not that I can’t.” You said “It’s just that I dont.”

“Why?”

You mused over your answer for a moment before you responded. “I just don’t believe in it, I guess?”

Bucky frowned, “You don’t believe in love?”

“No.” You replied. “I just don’t believe in one true love and all that bullshit.”

“So you’ve never been in love?” Bucky asked.

“I probably have, but since I don’t believe in it. No.” You chuckled.

“You are so weird.” Bucky laughed.

“Have you ever been in love?” You turn the questioning around on him.

“I have many times yes.” Bucky replied honestly.

“And none of them true love?” You ask.

“Maybe once, but not enough to inspire me to write a love story” Bucky laughed, making you laugh with him.

For the rest of the evening, the two of you sat on the deck, watching the ocean and talking. It was probably the most normal interaction you had shared with him since you started working together. But you enjoyed it nonetheless, you found yourself really taking a liking to him and even considering him a friend.

Later that night Bucky walked you to your bedroom for the night. He was mindlessly telling you a story of how he wrote some chapter of his latest book, and you were only half paying attention, as you were both gloriously drunk on the four bottles of champagne you had shared.

“Y/N.” Bucky suddenly says, as you reached the bedroom door. His hand stopped on the handle and you turn to face him. It wasn’t until you turned that you realized how close he was to you and you backed away from him, but to no avail as your back hits the door.

“Bucky.” You murmured, both of you just looking at each other. Bucky leans towards you, his lips brush against yours, and it feels like electricity jolts through you. You know this is a bad idea, this can only end in disaster, your brain is repeating that to you again and again but you don’t stop

Bucky steps closer and then his mouth is on yours again. Kissing passionately this time, pressing you both up against the door, he runs his fingers through your hair as pulls you deeper into the kiss.

Suddenly the bedroom door gives way to the weight of both of you and it’s flung open, you yelp out in surprise as you topple backwards but Bucky grabs your waist with skilled ease and dips with you, he hovers over you, your faces inches away from each other.

“We shouldn't…” you murmured, his cold blue eyes almost putting you in a trance.

“Yeah.” Came Bucky’s husky reply, but the look on his face told you, he didn’t care about that. He wanted this.

You cleared your throat and steadied yourself, Bucky stood you both up and stepped away from you. You seem him adjust himself, in the dark, his arousal obvious. “We’re drunk, we should sleep it off.” You said, awkwardly.

Bucky just nods, and then leans over giving you a kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight Y/N.” He mumbles before he walks out, closing the door behind him. You stood in the same spot for a few moment, trying to comprehend what just happened, but your drunk brain was faltering.

It was going to be so awkward tomorrow morning, you could already feel it. Sighing deeply at you stupidity, you clamber into bed and pull the covers over your head.Eager to escape the awake world for even a couple of hours.

The next morning, you are awoken to your phone buzzing loudly on the bedside table. Without opening your eyes, you reached over and grabbed it and hit the ignore call button. Whoever it was, was going to have to wait for you to fully wake up before you spoke to them.

Rolling out of bed, you stumbled into the bathroom and splashed some water on your face. Trying to alleviate some of the headache you had from the wine last night. Brushing your teeth quickly, you opened the shower and turned it on. Waiting for the water to heat up.

You can hear movement around the house, so you assume Bucky is awake as well. Not ready to face him yet, you strip and get into the shower. Enjoying the spray of the hot water blast over you and wash away the remnants of your hangover.

After your shower you pull on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and quietly slip out of your room into the sunny hallway. As you do, you hear the soft sounds of Frank Sinatra travelling down the hallway. Frowning you quietly pad through the house trying to find where the sound is coming from. As you round the corner, you stop dead in your tracks. You see Bucky, swaying slightly to the music, he is standing in the kitchen, dressed in dark jeans and a white tshirt, he is barefoot, looking at someone across the room, a smile on his face that looked like it could light up a room.

Shifting slightly you move closer and see Steve, standing a few feet away from him. He is talking softly to Bucky, he reaches out and grabs Bucky’s hand. Suddenly pulling him towards him, Bucky lets him and their bodies kind of collide as the sway to the music. It was endearing and heartwarming, it was friendly but also intimate then you suddenly realize. It was Steve that Bucky was talking about, the ex-boyfriend who was still his friend.

The way Bucky looked at him, you saw how much affection he had for Steve. Not wanting to interrupt their moment, you quickly turn away but the floorboards creaked and you winced hoping they didnt hear you. Unfortunately they did,

“Good morning Y/N.” Bucky said, from behind you.

You turn around and put a smile on your face, hoping last night’s awkward kiss would make things worse this morning. “Morning.” You said, you see Bucky is smiling at you,so you’re hopeful.

“Hello gorgeous.” Steve said, suddenly appearing beside Bucky. He looked so incredibly gorgeous in the sunlight, wearing a tight white tshirt and beige slacks, you felt yourself unable to find words.

“Hi Steve…” You said breathlessly.

“You want breakfast?” Bucky asks, a grin on his face.

You just nodded and followed the two of them back into the kitchen. You take a seat on one of the chairs at the island counter and watched as Steve and Bucky moved about the kitchen with

graceful ease, they worked together like they had done this a thousand times before.

Fifteen minutes later, Steve placed a plate of crepes in front of you with a smile, Bucky joining him and putting down fruit, coffee and an array of additions for the crepes on the counter beside your place. Before the two of them took a seat, beside each other, opposite you, and the three of you tucked into the breakfast. 

“How’s the hangover?” Bucky asked you,

You shrugged, “Not bad.” you replied.

“Let me guess, Bucky got into the Dom again?” Steve chuckled.

“First of all, we both did.” Bucky defended himself, shoving Steve’s shoulder lightly.

“it was great Dom though.” You added lightheartedly

“It always is.” Steve said giving you a dazzling smile as he ate the crepes before him.

“When did you get in?” You asked.

“Last night, around 3AM.” Steve said.

You were suddenly thanking your lucky stars that you did not sleep with Bucky last night or it would have been an awkward situation to wake up to.

You glanced at Bucky and he has the same look on his face that you did. “Why so late?” You asked, reaching for a strawberry and biting into it.

“I was working late.” Steve replied. His gaze flitting to your mouth, as you bit into the strawberry again.

“Working on what?” You asked.

Steve doesn’t reply, instead he just smiles at you and reaches across the counter wiping the side of your mouth with his thumb. This gesture startles both you and Bucky.

You quickly place the strawberry down and push your plate away. No longer able to eat for some reason. Bucky clears his throat and stands up, shucking his plate onto the counter nearby with a clatter. Steve looks between the two of you for a moment then changes the subject.

“So what are the plans today?” He asks.

“Writing.” You said,

“Drinking.” Bucky said.

“Sounds fun.” Steve replied, not taking his eyes off you.

“I should get started,” You mumbled, getting up from your seat. You had to get away from his again, he was intoxicating you with his blue eyes, and blonde hair, and disgustingly attractive figure.

“Good idea, I’ll help.” Bucky added, walking you out the kitchen. Steve just chuckles and goes back to nonchalantly eating the crepes before him, as if he doesn’t realize what he is doing to you.

A couple of hours later, you are seated on a beach chair, toes in the cool beach sand, with your laptop in your lap, as you tried to get some writing done. A few feet away, Bucky sat beside you, sunglasses perched on his nose, cold beer in hand. He was shirtless and it was distracting. He had been lazing around for most of the day while you tried to write the next chapter of his book.

You look up and see Steve walking down the beach with Sam, and Thor. They were all shirtless as well, each one of them more muscular and defined than the next. You groaned inwardly, this was going to be a long couple of day’s seeing as Wanda and Natasha were busy and couldn’t make it up yet. You were stuck here, with these men that looked like they belonged on the cover of a magazine.

Needing to distract yourself from Steve who you were now staring at once more, you turned to Bucky. “Tell me about the first time you fell in love?” You suddenly ask him.

Bucky looks at you confused for a moment, “What?” he responds,

“For the book, Bucky. Tell me about your first love.” You repeated.

“Oh right…” He lifts his drink to his lips and takes a long drink, before sighing and answering you. “I don’t know, I was like seventeen or eighteen. Knew them my whole life, was simple to be in love with them I guess.” he shrugs.

You typed quickly, listening to his words, his voice, reading the emotion on his face. “What did it feel like the moment you knew?” You asked.

Bucky bit his lip for a moment as he thought about it, “Freeing.” He said, adjusting the sunglasses on his face as he takes another long sip.

“Why?” You ask. Continuing to type. His emotions and words were giving you inspiration you needed to write right now.

“Because it was that love I kind of knew deep down was always going to be there.” Bucky replied. You glance at him, and from behind his glasses you see him looking out at his friends, who were a couple of yards away. You know he is looking at Steve.

“Was it true love?” You asked,

“Yes.” Was Bucky’s simple reply.

You typed away for a few more moments and then sat back contently, looking at your latest handiwork. You had managed to write a whole new chapter in a span of a few hours. This might have been your best work since you started this project, and it had all stemmed from you seeing Bucky and Steve in the kitchen this morning.

“Done.” You announced.

Bucky looked over at you from his seat and a grin broke out on his face. “Let me see.” He reaches out and grabs your laptop, then hands you the drink in his hand.

You take it from him and take a long sip, as Bucky begins to read the chapter. His face is a series of different expressions as he goes through the chapter, and when he is done he closes the laptop and looks up at you.

“You are a fucking miracle worker.” He mutters,

“You like it?”

“Yeah, It’s great.” Bucky nods, flashing you a smile. “This is probably the best chapter so far.”

You grinned back at him, feeling content with you work. The couple hours you had spent with Bucky were great inspiration for the book. Turns out he was soft and sweet and smart, and had this endearing, loving side you didn’t know he possessed. The way he talked about love made you question why he couldn’t write this book himself. 

After finishing the chapter, you took a much needed break, putting on your sunglasses you grabbed a beer from the ones Bucky had brought to the beach and leaned back in your chair, contently closing your eyes. Enjoying the sounds of the calming ocean waves.

Bucky had gone to join his friends in the water with his surf board, leaving you alone with your thoughts. It was kind of nice to escape the city and head to the coast. Sometimes you job wasn’t half bad,especially when it afforded you the luxury of relaxing on a beach in the middle of the day, on a Monday.

Suddenly you a startled up by droplets of water falling onto your bare torso.

“What the…” You exclaimed opening your eyes and sitting up. Only to come face to face with Steve, who loomed over you with his hulking frame, dripping water from the ocean. You lift your sunglasses up and look up at him.

“What do you want Steve?” You sighed.

“Come into the water, it’s great.” He said, dropping his surfboard onto the sand and taking a seat beside you and grabbing your drink from your hand.

“No thanks, I am good right here.” You replied, putting your sunglasses back on so Steve wouldn’t see you gawking at his bulging biceps

“Yeah but it’s nice out there.” Steve insisted.

“Nope.” You retorted taking your drink back from him.

Steve chuckled, and leaned back in his seat. Flexing his torso, whether it was unintentional or not you didn’t know but it made you clench your fist and bite your lip. He was so fucking hot.

“You look great by the way.” Steve said, as his gaze swept over your barely clad body.

“Stop.” You replied blushing, feeling kind of exposed in your barely there bikini. 

Steve grinned at you, devilishly. He knew what he was doing, he wanted you and was making it very obvious that he did. He leans over and looks at the book in your lap, and reaches for it. As he does so, his fingertips skim over the skin on your thighs and you can’t help but tense up. Steve notices.

“What are you reading?” He asked, innocently looking at the book cover.

“Lord of the rings…” You replied.

“Huh, never pegged you for a fantasy kinda girl.” Steve said, looking at you with those brilliant blue eyes.

“Yeah well, you don’t know me.” You said.

“Not for a lack of trying.” Steve shrugged, he hands the book back to you and takes your drink again, this time he finishes it.

You didn’t know how to respond to his comment, so you change the subject. You were dying to know more about the enigma that Steve was. He was this gorgeous, obviously rich, clearly bachelor. It was all too intriguing.

“So what do you do for a living?” You asked him, trying to be casual about it.

Steve smirks, as he looks out at the ocean before him. He is quiet for a moment before he answers. “This and That.” He replied.

“What does that even mean?” You sighed.

“It can mean whatever you want it to.” Steve responds, turning his gaze back to you. And you can’t help but smile at him. Even though its driving you crazy that you know nothing about him, you are somehow drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

“So how did you and Bucky meet?” You asked him, another question.

A grin suddenly appears over Steve’s face when you ask this question. He looks back out at Bucky who is still in the water, surfing with Thor and Sam.

“We met in grade school, I was busy getting my scrawny ass handed to me behind the auditorium and Bucky showed up, looking from somewhere to nerd out about space by himself, and pretty much beat up all three of those kids who were kicking the shit out of me.” Steve said.

“You were scrawny?” You laughed at the thought of Steve being skinny.

“I was a ninety pound, asthmatic,” Steve chuckled, “That was until puberty hit me like a fucking truck, and then suddenly I am the quarterback at a state school.”

“So you weren’t always this all american golden boy?” You joked.

“What makes you think I am a golden boy?” Steve asked.

“Well, that’s my assumption.” You replied.

Steve chuckles again, “Believe it or not, but JB is the golden boy not me.”

“Bucky? A golden boy? I don’t see it.” You mused, with a grin.

“Yeah, he’s got a stellar career, good manners, keeps up his appearances, he’s a total mama’s boy too.” Steve said.

You were quiet for a moment, “How long have you been in love with him?” You suddenly asked, immediately regretting it when you see the frown appear on Steve’s face.

“That’s a loaded question.” Steve says, he doesn’t seem angry though.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate…” You stuttered quickly.

Steve lifts his hands to silence you, “ It’s fine,” He chuckles, “I just wasn’t aware Buck had told you.”

“He didn’t.” You said. “It kind of put two and two together.”

He nods his head and bites his lip for a moment. Picking up another beer, and handing one to you before he speaks again.

“In a way, I guess we always loved each other.” Steve suddenly said. “It’s till the end of the line with us.” He pauses and cracks open his beer, and takes a long sip. “We were in love at some point, but we wanted different things from life, and I suppose that love kind of changed into something different.”

“That’s nice though.” You said softly. What he said was deeply profound to you, in some way it just made you like him more. “Can I ask what the different things were, or is that too personal?” You asked.

Steve turned to you, “Tell you what, you go out with me and I will tell you everything you want to know?” He says, a playful smile on his face.

“Okay.” You found yourself saying without even thinking twice.

Steve’s face falters for a moment but he recovers quickly, “Okay? Is that a yes?” he said.

“Yes.” You shrugged, “I’ll go out with you, if only to get you to stop asking me out.” You laughed.

Steve laughed as well, “I told you I would wear you down!” he said with a grin.

Before you could reply, Bucky and the rest of the guys came back from their surf. And sat down, cutting into your conversation with Steve. You remained quiet while the guys struck up a conversation between each other, you merely observed them.

It was a lovely day spent on the beach with them, they were all fun to be around, especially Thor. He was loud and jovial and for some reason he kept picking you up saying how light and small you were, much to your dismay. You noticed the subtly between Steve and Bucky more so now that Steve had shared a little about their relationship. Steve nonstop flirted with you, shamelessly in front of all of them, it was kind of cute how hard he was trying to get into your pants actually. Bucky joined him in the constant flirting, the two handsome men making you blush at every turn.

By the time the sun was setting, you were all gloriously tipsy and heading back to the beach house ready for some food and a little more alcohol.

Two days of beaching, tanning and spending time with Bucky, Steve, Thor and Sam and you were absolutely relaxed. It turned out you had gotten more writing done here than you had in the city.

The first night with them, they ordered pizzas and had a shit ton of alcohol. They played poker, pool, and beer pong. It was the most fun you had, since college. They made you feel welcome into their little guys club, treating you like you were their life long friend. You learned more about all of them that night, Steve and Thor had met each other in high school, went to the same college, basically did everything together aside from Bucky. Sam had been a childhood friend of Bucky’s, and they just kind of never stopped being friends. It was endearing that they had all been friends for so long.

Their friendships had this comfortable ease, ad watching them interact with each other was amazing to you. They freely told each other that they love each other, they were affectionate and relaxed around each other.

Day two came with loud breakfast chats and day drinking. You could hardly keep up with their drinking habits. These guys were champions, they knew how to show anyone a good time. Bucky was the life of the party, he had endless stories and games to entertain everyone with. It was kind of nice seeing this side of him.

“Come on Y/N, drink!” Sam exclaimed passing you another shot of tequila. It was sunset, and you were drunk. All of you were, you were sitting at a beach front restaurant waiting for dinner , and naturally loud drunk Sam had insisted everyone do shots again.

You groaned loudly, “Sam, i literally cannot do anymore shots.”

“Shut up and drink.” Bucky laughed raising the shot glass to your mouth as he lifted his to his lips. You looked at him, his blue eyes transfixed on you and you couldn’t say no, you just opened your mouth and let him pour the contents in.

Wincing and gagging slightly at the disgusting taste. “Okay that’s it. No more shots.” You whined. And all of them laugh at you, as you hold your head drunkenly.

“You’re going to have to grow a pair if you hang out with us.” Thor joked, patting you sympathetically on your back.

“I am going to end up passing out if I drink like you.” You laughed.

“Let’s get some food in you and you’ll feel a bit better.” Steve said, and as he spoke the waiters appeared with your food orders, copious amounts of creamy pasta and mashed potatoes and steaks. It was a drunk persons heaven.

After you all drunkenly ate dinner, conversing loudly in the restaurant. Bucky insisted you go to some house party being thrown by one of his ‘friends’ as he put it. And his friend turned out to be a leggy blonde girl who shoved her tongue down his throat the moment she saw him.

The party was a little extravagant for a Tuesday night but it was summer here and that was apparently all people did around here.

You wandered about the party after losing al the guys, they had found friends to mingle with. So you just grabbed a drink and headed out to the beach, taking a seat in the sand, drunkenly enjoying the ocean air.

“Hey you.” Steve says, taking a seat beside you. “Been looking for you.”

“Steeevee, heyyy.” You said happily drunk. You lean on his muscular frame for support as your head spins from all the liquor you had consumed up to this point.

“How ya doing there?” He asks, motioning to your drink.

“Still full.” You mumbled,

He nods and downs the rest of his drink, tossing the red plastic cup with ease into a nearby bin. “Easy peasy.” He said, proudly and you cant help but giggle.

Steve looks at you, as you giggle and he has a grin on his handsome face. “I like your laugh.” Steve said, leaning a little closer to you.

“I like your face.” You slur drunkenly, tapping him on the nose.

This makes him laugh, “And I like yours.” He replied. Leaning back on his arm, till he is now inches away from your face.

“You have such pretty eyes.” You mumbled as you stared at his face, sipping your drink. Your drunk brain wasn’t registering the compromising situation you were putting yourself in.

“I like yours.” Steve murmured, “I am also going to kiss you now.” he states softly. Your breath hitches in your throat when he said that, and your heart suddenly starts thumping in your chest.

When you don’t protest, Steve leans down and places his lips on yours. Softly at first, his tongue exploring your mouth and you can taste the alcohol on him. You know this is wrong, and its going to end in disaster for you but you go for it anyway. Drunk Y/N doesn’t care, you want Steve and he wants you. That’s all that matters.

You reach up and cup his face, loving the feel of his hand angular jaw beneath your hand. Steve breaks the kiss first, and leaves you gasping after his mouth for more.

“Let’s get out of here.” He murmured to you, standing and pulling you to your feet. You allow him to pull you to your feet and follow him through the party, he locates Sam and Thor and tells them he is leaving they nod and say goodnight.

Steve grips your hand in his as he leads you out of the party and the two of you walk down the beach, back to his beach house. You are drunkenly stumbling along, and when you make it to the house, Steve lifts you up and is suddenly kissing you again. Its more fervent this time, as his hands move across your body and grip your ass. He stumbles through the house, until he reaches his bedroom door, and kicks it open.

You both tumbled onto the bed, kissing, biting, pulling off each others clothing. Its hot, and kind of desperate, you both want this so badly. But suddenly his bedroom door opens and Bucky stumbles in drunkenly.

“Oh shit fuck sorry Steve.” He slurs, in the dark he can’t see it’s you beneath Steve. He starts kicking off his shoes and stumbles over to the bed, and collapses on it.

You look at Steve, mortified. Steve has a confused look on his face, “Buck, what are you doing?” Steve asked.

“Sleeping.” Bucky mumbles. He opens one eye and sees you half naked beneath Steve, “Oh heyyy its Y/N. hello.” he reaches over and pats your face.

“Bucky, go to your bed.” Steve chuckles, shifting off you, trying to hide his obvious erection. You look over at him, slightly annoyed at Bucky and pull the bedsheet over your chest to cover your nakedness.

“Can’t, there’s a girl in there.” Bucky mumbles, you can tell he is already falling asleep.

“What? Why?” Steve said,

“Fucked her.” came his reply.

Steve sighed deeply, then looked at you. “Guess we can move?” He says to you, but to his dismay you had also passed out suddenly. Steve chuckles softly as he sees the two of you drunkenly passed out on the bed. He sighs again and shrugs before he drops back down onto the bed, beside you. Pulling you into his arms and fell asleep.

The next morning, you woke up to the warmth of a muscular arm around you waist. You groan softly and open your eyes, and come face to face with Bucky. Who is sleeping peacefully, his hair messy and in his face.

You yelped and sat upright in a panic. You look around the room wildly, and then at Steve who is also in the bed. And scrambled off the bed. Waking them both up as you do so.

“What, what is going on.” Bucky muttered, squinting at the sunlight and wincing.

Steve groaned loudly and rolled over, rolling completely off the bed. He hits the floor with a thud. You begin to wrack your brain for memories of last night and were coming up with a blank. You were naked, in bed with a half naked Bucky and a naked Steve. What the fuck had happened last night.

Steve sits up on the floor and looks up at you and then over at Bucky, who is now sitting up looking at the two of you. His expression shifting between confused and horrified.

“Oh good god, tell me we didnt.” You wailed, covering your face with your hands.

“No, No no one did!” Steve said quickly getting up off the floor and grabbing the sheet off the bed to cover you. He throws Bucky a look, and Bucky sighs with relief.

“Bucky why the fuck are you in here? And Whose room is this?” You asked. Looking around.

“It’s my room and well Bucky has a girl in his bed.” Steve chuckled.

“Oh fuck, shit, I do? Who is she?” Bucky said, scrambling to his feet and swaying slightly. He was obviously still drunk from last night.

Both you and Steve just look at him, annoyedly. “Right.” Bucky says, straightening up and running his fingers through his short hair, “ I have to go deal with that, good luck with whatever this is.” he gestures between you and Steve and then walks out, leaving you staring open mouthed at him. 

Steve clears his throat and looks at you.

“Uhm … I’m going to go to my room.” You said awkwardly.

“I mean you don’t have to…” Steve replied.

“I know, I just …it’s probably best if I do.” You said. Quickly gathering up your items and moving to the room door.

Steve looks like of disappointed, but you are much more sober now than you were last night and you were a lot grateful that you aren’t slept with Steve. It would have made things a whole lot more complicated for you.

“Uh thanks for last night.” You say,

“For what?” Steve asked.

“You know, getting me home safely.” You shrugged.

Steve nods, “sure anytime.” He mumbled and then you walked out closing the door behind you and hurrying to your room, still wrapped in Steve’s bed sheet.

The moment you are in your room and you shut the door, you fall back against it.

“What the fuck are you doing Y/N” you whisper scream at yourself. Repeatedly hitting your forehead with the palm of your hand.

“I am fucked.” You sighed to yourself as you moved towards the bed, “Utterly and totally fucked.” Then you drop onto the bed and within minutes you pass out again.


	5. His name is Steve Rogers and he is a sucker for a love story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re a writer, and have never been in love before. Though it’s not for a lack of trying! You are tasked with ghost writing a love story for a famous author and now need some real life inspiration. Until you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes … the ultimate lover boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked this chapter, and I hope you guys do too!!

“You’re going on a date with him?” Natasha exclaimed excitedly, as she jumped onto the bed beside you.

“Oh god, yes shout it louder!” You hissed at her. Beside you Wanda laughs. They had arrived earlier that day at the beach house and both of them were already in party mode much to your exhaustion.

Wanda had a little crush on Sam, and had spent a good portion of the morning flirting with him, and Natasha wouldn’t stop flirting with Bucky. Eventually you dragged the two of them away from the guys and locked yourself in your room with them, for some much needed girl time.

“So wait, you were going to have sex with Steve but then Bucky, who is also his ex boyfriend cock blocked you?” Wanda asked.

“Yeah…” You muttered, it sounded so bizarre now that she was saying it out loud.

“So Bucky and Steve dated? For how long?” Nat asked.

“I don’t know,” You shrugged, “I haven’t asked either of them, any of these questions so I can answer yours.”

“How have you not asked these questions! They are important questions!” Natasha exclaimed,

“Nat, oh my god if you yell one more time, I am going to shove my fist down your throat!” You said to her.

Wanda threw a pillow at Natasha who gave you the finger. “So you fucked both of them?” Wanda says with a laugh, “Whose better in bed?”

“I’m not answering that.” You laughed. Even though you knew the answer.

“Who has a bigger dick? I feel like it’s Bucky.” Nat giggles.

“Ugh, Nat, don’t fuck the same guy I fucked, that’s weird” You groaned.

“How is that weird? He is hot and into me!” She retorted.

“Because its like you’re sleeping with me then!” You sighed.

“Bitch, you sleep with Wanda and that’s not weird so why is it weird to fuck me?” Natasha snorted.

And Wanda burst out laughing, both of you did. “That’s different! Besides you’re as straight as they come darling!” Wanda said.

Nat just shrugged and laughed as well.

“So when are you going out with him?” Wanda asked, meaning Steve.

“I don’t know, he hasn’t said anything yet and I am not going to ask. I don’t want to seem eager.” You said.

“Makes sense.” They both agree with you. You had suddenly felt relieved that the two of them had come. You needed them to guide you through this messy situation and you always loved their company because you were beginning to feel a little overwhelmed by all the testosterone around you.

Just then there was a knock on the door, and Bucky pops his head in.

‘We’re going to the beach again, any of you keen?” He asks.

“I am!” Natasha said eagerly jumping off the bed with a grin.

Both you and Wanda rolled your eyes, she was not going to stop flirting with him until he shut her down or slept with him. She was hard headed like that.

The time spent away went by in a blur and before you knew it you found yourself sitting at your desk in the office, preparing to meet with Pepper and the publishers again. You had met all your deadlines and even produced an extra chapter after your weekend away, with all the inspiration you had. But you were still nervous having to show Pepper the chapters, she was always hyper critical.

“Hey Y/N.” Scott said, walking up to your desk with two cups of coffee, “How’s it going?” he places one down in front of you.

“Hey Scott. Thanks” You thank him for the coffee, “I am barely surviving” You laughed,

“Why?” Scott says.

“This book, is tougher than I thought it would be.” You sighed, “There’s a lot of expectations behind it”

“Makes sense, that Barnes guy has a stellar reputation and this is the first time he is using a ghostwriter, So I can only imagine the pressure you’re under.” Scott said, sympathetically as he took a sip of his coffee and leaned against your desk.

“Yeah, it’s a big deal.” You replied, with a shrug. You actually hadn’t thought about it that much, but now that he was bringing it up you were realizing the magnitude of this project.

Scott made conversation with you until you had to head into your meeting, as nervous as you where it turned out Pepper and the publishers loved the theme of the story so far. Especially the parts where you had drawn inspiration from Steve and Bucky’s relationship. You made a mental note to thank them for that at some point as you walked out of the meeting.

Later that day when you were all done with whatever paperwork you had, and had turned in as much as you could. You headed out of the office to go and meet Bucky to talk about the latest chapters and what the publishers thought. As you were walking out of the building to your surprise, you bumped into Steve.

“Steve, Hey!” You said, surprised when you see him.

He walks over, and gives you a kiss on the cheek. The vibe between the two of you was somewhere between friendly and awkward since you had come back from the Hamptons and when you were there with Natasha and Wanda, they had helped you avoid getting blackout drunk and sleeping with him again.

“Hello Y/N.” he said with a gorgeous smile.

“What are you doing here?” You asked. Shouldering your laptop bag while trying to balance the multiple transcripts you were holding, for research purposes.

“I’m here to ask you out.” Steve replied, reaching out and taking the multiple items on your hands, you let him take the items and look at him. The two of you falling into step as you walked down the stairs of the building.

“You came all the way down here to ask me out?” You laughed.

“Well, yes and no. I was in the area, figured I would come do it in person.” Steve smiled.

“Well, I have already said yes to this.” You pointed out as you walked together across the street, you were heading to the coffee shop before you went to Bucky’s place. You always brought coffee and croissants for him, it had kind of become a tradition over the last few months.

“Okay well, can you do tomorrow night? At Seven?” Steve asked.

“Yes” You answered simply.

“Great, i’ll see you then” He grinned at you handing you your many transcripts back. “Oh and Bucky likes donuts better than croissants by the way, he hates croissants.” He added.

You looked at Steve in surprise, “What? How did you know I …” You trail off.

“The coffee order, black Coffee,no creamer, no sugar and just simple syrup.” Steve said, “That’s how Bucky drinks it, he is the only person in the world I know drinks coffee like that.” He smiled, like he was thinking of a memory that made him happy.

You stared at him for a moment, “Thanks for the tip.” You said, collecting the coffees and telling the cashier to change the donuts for the croissants, and wondering why Bucky hadn’t mentioned his hate for croissants to you.

“You’re welcome.” Steve said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” he gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before he walks away. Your gaze trails after him, for a moment but the cashier snaps you out of your thoughts when she hands you your change.

“Sorry I’m late.” You said as you rushed through Bucky’s apartment door, almost dropping the coffees in your hand.

“Hello to you too.” Bucky chuckled as he motioned you inside, watching you rush to the dining room table and drop your many items.

You take a seat in one of the chairs, and sigh deeply. “Fuck this day.” You muttered and pulled out your laptop.

Bucky takes a seat opposite you and takes one of the coffees before he pulls the box of donuts you brought over to him and he opens it. “What, no croissants today?” He asks surprised.

“Just thought we could switch it up.” You shrugged.

“Uh huh.” came his reply as he took out a donut and bit into it.

“Shall we begin?” You say, pushing the transcript of the book you had printed out for him, towards him.

Bucky sighs and just nods, picking up the chapters you printed out. Then the two of you spend the next couple of hours going over the book, and bouncing ideas for the next chapters off each other. As usual, there was a comfortable ease between the two of you, it was simple, casual, effortless. The way you worked, talked even just hung out. It felt like you had known him your whole life.

By midnight, both of you were thoroughly exhausted working on the book, and decided to take a break. You sit outside on the terrace, looking out at the cold city lights before you, Bucky steps onto the terrace two beers in hand and gives you one before taking a seat beside you.

Both of you sit in companionable silence for a few minutes before Bucky breaks the silence. “Can I just say, I am glad they chose you.” He said,

You look at him, and give him a soft smile. “Yeah me too.” You said. Shoving him slightly with your shoulder.

Bucky smirks at you, “Can I ask you something?” He asks, his face is an unreadable mask.

“Hit me.” You reply.

“That last chapter, did you write it because you saw Steve and I in the kitchen at the beach house?” He asked, and your heart jumps. You were hoping he wouldn’t see the connection and he wouldn’t ask, You didn’t want him thinking you were prying into his life even though it was kind of your job to.

“Maybe.” You shrugged.

“Damn, I was hoping you didn’t see that.” Bucky sighs, you can’t tell if he is being serious or not because he is smiling.

“Why didn’t you want me to see that?” You asked. Shifting nervously in your seat. Did he know you had slept with Steve, he obviously had to have known, Steve was his best friend of course they talk about it. And even worse, you’d probably come out of this looking like such a tramp having slept with both of them now.

Bucky was quiet for a moment, he takes another sip of his beer and looks out at the city before him. “I didn’t want you to write about that love.” He said, almost inaudibly.

You didn’t know how to respond, you had so many questions but you knew now wasn’t the time to ask them, so you just remained silent. Waiting for him to continue. You heart thundering in your chest.

“Can you do me a favor, and not tell anyone what you saw?” He suddenly asks, looking at you intensely. The ferver in his eyes, suddenly set you alight, you had no idea why and you found your mind wandering back to the moment he kissed you at the beach house.

“Y-yeah of course. I haven’t said anything to anyone, not my story to tell.” You said quickly. Shaking away the thoughts of Bucky that were making a sudden appearance in your mind.

“Thanks.” Bucky muttered, then takes another long sip of his drink. His whole demeanor seems to have changed. Its like he has withdrawn into himself. The silence fell between the two of you again, this time it was different.

“I should get going.” You said, after finishing your drink.

“No, stay. It’s late.” Bucky said, leaning back in his seat. “You can sleep in the guest room, there’s like three.” He gestures to the apartment.

“I don’t have any clothes here though.” You try to protest but Bucky doesn’t let you.

“Y/N, shut up and stay over. There’s enough room and I won’t bother you. Its for my own peace of mind please.” Bucky sighed.

You knew this was an argument you weren’t going to win, so you just sighed and sat back down on the settee beside him. “You know this isn’t a normal ghostwriter/author relationship.” You said as you said down.

“I thought we were friends.” Bucky said, not looking at you.

“We are…” You reply quickly and this makes Bucky smile.

“Good, because I like you Y/N.” He suddenly stated.

You had no idea what the confession meant, and you hated that it stirred something inside you, a desire that should not be awoken but somehow Bucky Barnes and his blue eyes were awakening something inside you. You decided to quickly change the topic, to distract yourself from the sensation forming in your heart.

“So Steve asked me out.” You said, pointedly not looking at him for fear of his reaction. You knew they were exes, and didn’t want there to be any awkwardness with you going on a date with Steve.

“I know.” Bucky simply said.

“Oh..” You said.

Bucky was quiet for a moment, “Do me a favor please.” He said, “Don’t break his heart.”

“Bucky, it’s one date..” You tried to protest.

But Bucky just shook his head, “Doesn’t matter, Steve’s a really great guy and when he loves, he loves with his entirety. So just be gentle with him okay?”

His voice seemed sad and distant for some reason, you couldn’t help but feel bad. “I don’t have to go out with him if you don’t want me to.” You shrugged.

“No no, that’s not what I am saying at all.” Bucky said, shaking his head, “Go on the date with him. I just… Ah nevermind, I’m not making sense.” He sighed deeply.

This was a side of him you had never seen before, and you were unsure as to how to navigate this situation.

“I should go to bed.” You said, standing up.

“Sure.” Bucky stands up with you and wordlessly walks you to one of the rooms. Once you settle in, he gives you a t-shirt of his and then says goodnight. Shutting the door as he walks out. It was all too strange, the way he was acting, the way he spoke about Steve, this whole situation was messed up. It all felt so wrong but so right.

The next day, after Bucky had forced you to have breakfast with him. You had gone home to work on the book, you spent a greater portion of your day writing and getting through whatever admin tasks you had. But your mind kept drifting with anticipation to your date with Steve that night. You shouldn’t be excited for this, it was not you, it never had been. You weren’t the girl guys dated. You were the girl guys fucked before the girl they dated. 

Nevertheless, you were excited and nervous at the same time, even though you weren’t the dating type. There was something about Steve that just enamored you.

Strumming your fingers agitatedly on the desk, you pick up your phone and dial Natasha’s number. You glanced up at the clock on the wall, it read 5:30PM. she was supposed to be arriving soon to help you get ready for your date.

“I am here!” Natasha yelled, kicking open your front door, causing you to jump out of your seat in fright.

“Fuck Nat!” You yelled at her.

“I brought back up.” Natasha said, coming over to give you a hug, and you see Wanda, and Maria walk in behind her.

“Hey guys.” You greeted them.

The girls immediately set about getting things ready for you, Natasha ordered you into the shower, while Wanda and Maria pulled outfits out of your closet. Fifteen minutes later, you were sitting at your dressed while Natasha did your hair, Wanda did you make up and Maria showed you different outfit choices. It was the girliest thing you had done with them in a while and they were taking full advantage of it.

“Blue or red?”Maria asked, holding up to different silk tank tops.

“Neither.”You groaned, “Those were a gift from my mom and I hate them.”

“I say red.”Wanda said, applying blush to your cheeks.

“I say blue.” Nat countered as she raked a brush through your hair.

You sighed and just let them do their thing, you couldn’t be bothered with the way you looked at this point. All you wanted was to get dressed and go on this date, it was hard enough with these three and their comments and questions.

Lucky for you Natasha took charge and chooses your outfit. Just before 7PM, she is hustling you to the mirror in the hallway of your apartment so you can take a look at yourself. You barely got one word out to complain about the outfit you wore when the doorbell rang.

“Oh my god, he’s here!” Natasha practically squeals, shoving you towards the door. You stumbled in the heels you are wearing and throw her an angry look.

“Shut up!” You hissed at her, as you regain your balance. The bell rings again, Nat, Wanda and Maria are all standing behind you eagerly looking to the front door, as you make your way towards it to greet Steve.

When you open the door, Steve is leaning, arm up against the door frame. He is dressed in a simple jeans and black t-shirt and a black leather jacket. His blue eyes an endless sea of sparkle and color, He looks devastatingly gorgeous, and you actually have to stop yourself from gasping out loud.

“Hello gorgeous.” He smirks, as he leans down and kisses your cheek.

Behind you, you hear Natasha squeak and Wanda hit her. Steve’s gaze flickers to them for a moment then back to you, “Hi Natasha, Wanda and girl I have never met.” He calls out, his eyes not leaving you.

“Hi Steve.” Wanda and Nat say in unison.

“Maria.” Maria calls out her name.

You bite your lip in an effort to not smile at him, “You look amazing.” Steve said, his gaze sweeping across your body.

You shrug cockily “You don’t look half bad.” You replied with a grin that suddenly appeared on his face at his comment.

Steve chuckled, “Shall we?” He holds out his arm for you, in a very gentleman like fashion.

“Yes,” You immediately replied, grabbing your purse from behind the door. You throw a quick glance back at your friends, Natasha is silently excitedly screaming, Maria is jumping around fanning herself and Wanda is making obscene sex gestures. None of them see Steve looking at them. He clears his throat and when they notice his gaze they immediately stop, all looking very embarrassed.

“Later, assholes.” You called out, as you and Steve walked of your apartment.

Steve takes you to a Japanese restaurant, in his obviously flashy car. What else were you expecting. Dinner is amazing, he knows the people who own the restaurant, and is treated like he is part of their little family, its very endearing. He asks you questions about your family, your job, your life before work, your friends. Always deflecting questions about himself, or revealing the minimum amount of details he can. He is charming and funny and flirts shamelessly with you.The entire night seems perfect, too perfect.

“So are you ever going to tell me what you do for a living?” You asked as the two of you walk out of the restaurant, “Or are you like a hit-man or something?”

Steve chuckles, “What does it matter what I do?” He deflects the questions perfectly.

“Curiosity, I guess. Just tell me!” You laughed.

Steve stops on the sidewalk, suddenly pulling you by your arm against him. He looks down at you, with those intense blue eyes. In the moonlight, they look like starlight and it makes your head spin. It was either that or the multiple drinks you had at dinner, either way. He was intoxicating.

“Can I kiss you now?” He murmurs huskily, bringing his lips close to yours. You could feel his breath fan against your lips and a shiver runs through your body.

“Answer my question first.” You replied.

Steve cups your face and runs his thumb over your bottom lips, again an involuntary shiver runs through you as he does so.

“Fine, I won’t kiss you.” He chuckles suddenly stepping back from you.

“Oh my god, Steve just tell me, what is the big secret!” You exclaimed, crossing your arms. You were a little flustered by what he had just done, and not getting antsy for him to actually kiss you.

He laughs again, and just shakes his head. “Come on, lets get you home.”

“I’m going to find out eventually.” You said, grumpily as he opened the car door for you and you got in.

“Yes, eventually.” Steve replied as he got into the drivers seat and started the car.

It was beginning to bug you that you could never find anything out about him. You had googled stalked him extensively, with Natasha and Wanda and had come up blank. There was literally nothing about him on the internet. No Facebook, no Instagram, no nothing. There were a few photos with Bucky but that was it. You knew nothing about this man.

Steve walked you up to your apartment, at the end of the night. As you both stood in the doorway, looking at each other. Something about the way the light shifted across Steve made you want to invite him inside. There it was again, that fucking feeling in your chest, that part of you that you kept locked away. Suddenly trying to reveal itself in your heart.

“Do you want to come in?” You asked quietly.

This is all the Steve needs to hear, he knows what you are asking. Both of you had felt the crackle of electricity between the two of you the entire evening. In fact way before then, from the moment you had met, electric. Suddenly his lips are against yours, and he is stumbling into your apartment with you shutting the door behind hi,. The kiss utterly rips the breath from your lungs.

The clatter of your purse and phone echo through the dark apartment as you drop them to the floor, your hands grabbing his face. Steve wraps his arms around your waist, lifting you off your feet as his tongue explored your mouth. Your hands roam from his face, to his muscular shoulders and you grip tightly as you lift yourself further into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist.

Steve doesn’t know the layout of your apartment in the dark, and you are suddenly slammed into a nearby wall as he presses up against you. “Shit sorry.” He mumbled against your mouth.

“Three feet left.” You gasped, “Door.” finding his mouth again, and Steve moves you off the wall, and through the doorway, and stumbles again. Over your discarded shoes from earlier, he almost falls and thankfully catches himself before he does so. You yank off his jacket, it catches around his elbows as he holds you, but he holds you with one arm each time and lets the jacket fall to the floor.

“Door on the right.” You said, breaking the kiss and Steve just nods, his mouth moving down your exposed neckline. He sucks and bites at the skin, causing you to moan softly, and grip his hair.

Steve tumbles through your bedroom door, kicking off his shoes. His mouth is everywhere he can put it on you, he sets you down on the hardwood floor and you pull of your heels, shuck off your silk tank top, and immediately dropping to your knees in front of him, you look up at him from beneath your eyelashes.

“F-Fuck my life.” He murmurs, reaching down and touching your face lightly, as you unbuckled his jeans. Steve yanks off his t-shirt and throws it across the room then looks down at you on your knees before him again.

As you free him from his jeans, and his breath catches as your mouth is immediately on his cock, you grip the base and take him in slowly, letting him control the motion and speed of it. Steve’s hand instinctively goes to your hair. You move slowly feeling him harden with every stroke of your hand and mouth. He give s strangled moan when you look up at him, and he suddenly steps away. “Stop stop.” He said.

“What?” You asked confused, thumbing the side of your mouth from the saliva that was there.

“Fuck me, you are fucking killing me.” Steve groaned, and then he reaches down and scoops you up into his arms. His mouth finds yours for three quick kisses before he tosses you onto the bed and pulls off his jeans and underwear.

Steve grabs your legs and pulls you to the edge of the bed, and you fumble with the buttons on your jeans quickly undoing them before he yanks them off roughly and drops them to the floor. His gaze sweeps across your body, and he runs his fingers across the black lace panties that your wore before he meets your lustful eyes.

Holding your legs up and pulls off your panties exposing you to him, Steve places kisses along the entirety of your inner calf, and thigh. Repeating the motion on both side, he leaves small bruises with each kiss, as he nips at the skin. The more he does this, the more aroused you become, he grazes over your now dripping core.

He kisses his way up your body, slowly, tortuously, all while you lay back, watching him with lustful anticipation. Across your hips, your stomach, nipping at your rib cage, before he stops at your breasts. And practically rips the bra that you are wearing off, discarding it without a second thought. Steve drags his beard lightly across your skin, the scratchy feel giving you goosebumps as his mouth places open mouth kisses on your breasts, his teeth grazing your already taut nipples.

“Protection?” He murmurs as he kisses your neck, you just nodded and pointed to the draw beside your bed. He reaches over and grabs a condom out of it, putting it on quickly.

Then without warning, he presses his cock to your entrance and pushes in slightly. You gasped, and he cuts off your gasp with a rough kiss as his mouth finds yours again. And he is buried inside of you, your back arching off the bed at the sudden sensation. You moaned against his mouth and his arm snakes around your waist as he finds his rhythm inside you.

His pace is slow, and deep and lustful. Every move of his muscle above you drives you wild, every kiss he leaves across your skin sets you on fire, every thrust inside you, leaves you ecstatic. You feel yourself clench and the heat pooling, you’re already close.

“S-steve” you moaned, again and again. Its like you saying his name, excites him more and he speeds up his thrusts and moments later, you are clawing at his back as you come, Steve watches you come with lustful appreciation. As you ride the high of your orgasm, suddenly Steve shifts and pulls out of you, roughly flipping you over onto your stomach. Trailing soft kisses up your spine, he nudges your legs further apart, and slowly thrusts back into you. And you can’t help the moan that escapes your lips, the feel of him inside you drives you wild. you were like thunder and lightning together, the flash and clap of the two together, the exhilaration of it. That was how your bodies moved together. Balancing on his arm, he reaches up and from beneath your arm grips your neck lightly, lifting your face so that he can kiss you. And he does, deeply as he thrusts into you.

A few moments later, your orgasm rips through you. Sheet grabbing, sweat inducing, toe curling, loud ecstasy rips through you. Your body shudders beneath his grip, and he fucks you faster, chasing his own release soon and as he comes you feel his grip on your hip tighten and his thrust speed up then slow down. 

When it’s over, Steve falls down beside you. Both of you gasping for breath, .You rolled onto your back, and look up at the ceiling. You are still seeing stars from your last orgasm. Steve reaches over and brushes your hair out of your face, tilting your face towards him. He shifts closer to you, and places a kiss on your mouth again.

The kiss is soft and endearing, there’s a softness to it that makes your heart jump. He continues to hold your jaw between his forefinger and thumb as he kisses you. Until he needs to breathe again and breaks the kiss.

You open your eyes and look at him, simply mesmerized by everything about you for some reason. Steve smiles at you and suddenly your heart explodes, that dazzling fucking smile was quite literally taking your breath away.

“Should I go or am I allowed to spend the night?” He asks jokingly.

“Oh after that you can most certainly stay Mr Rogers.” You laughed, pulling the bed covers around you as you got off the bed.

“Where are you going?” Steve asked sitting up. You turn to look at him, in all his naked glory, he was fucking flawless.

“To pee Steve.” You said, sarcastically.

“Oh, well come back quickly, I want to cuddle.” He said with a grin.

“Good fuck no!” You exclaimed, “We are not cuddling, I hate cuddling.”

“What?! How can you hate cuddling?” Steve said incredulously.

You shrugged and then make your way into the bathroom, quickly using the toilet and fixing yourself up a little before going back to your room. Steve is laying in the middle of the bed, with his phone in his hand when you walk back in.

“Uhh you want to make some space for me there?” You asked, standing at the side of the bed.

“There is space if you want to cuddle.” Steve replies, smugly.

“I’ll go sleep in the living room then.” You retorted and turned around to leave. But Steve grabs the bedsheet and yanks you down onto the bed and into his arms.

“You are cuddling with me Y/N Y/L/N, whether you like it or not.” He said playfully. Steve holds you, your back pressed up against him, arms wrapped around your shoulders and his face in the crook of your neck. 

“Steve no.” You said, trying to escape his arms but he is too strong for you and holds you to him,

Steve chuckles against the skin on your neck, shifting for a moment as he pulls the covers over both of you still holding you to him.

“Goodnight princess.” He murmurs against your neck, trailing kisses across the skin and making you shiver. You didn’t say anything, you just listen to his breathing beside you, kind of frozen in place. Your heart hammering in your chest, this moment was all so intimate, you could feel his heartbeat as it pulsed against your back. His breathing now steady and even as he fell asleep. The warmth of his body creating a sense of security for you, something you had never felt around a man before.

You swallowed the sudden lump that was in your throat, as you feel his fingers intertwined with yours. He nuzzles your neck in his sleep, and your freeze up again as your heart jumps.

‘What the fuck is happening’ You thought panicked to yourself.


	6. Oh so inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re a writer, and have never been in love before. Though it’s not for a lack of trying! You are tasked with ghost writing a love story for a famous author and now need some real life inspiration. Until you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes … the ultimate lover boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay ya’ll, this chapter is a god damn mess! and you are all going to hate me for doing this but I am sorry! ALL ABOARD THE ANGST TRAIN I GUESS! lol

The morning was quiet and calm, you awoke with the feelings of Steve’s fingers gentle running through your hair. His touch was soft and warm, you still lay in his arms.

His fingertips dancing softly on the skin in your shoulders now, you keep your eyes closed. Unsure of whether you are enjoying this moment or not. It’s so strangely intimate and intimidating. You can tell he is awake by his breathing, it had been a very long time since you had woken up beside someone who you hadn’t snuck away from it kicked out of your apartment the moment your eyes opened.

You shift slightly so that Steve can see you’re awake.

“Good morning.” He murmurs with a soft smile.

“Hi.” You mumbled, tiredly rubbing your eyes. Kind of enjoying the warmth his muscular body is providing against your naked skin.

“How do you still look so pretty?” Steve sighed. Brushing his lips against

“Shut up.” You said, with a laugh. Then slowly got up, freeing yourself from his warm embrace.

Steve lets you go with a sigh, as you got up off the bed, he rolls over onto his back and sighs again. Picking up your discarded underwear from last night you pulled it on and grabbed a sweater from the nearby chair, pulling it on as well.

You catch a quick glimpse of yourself in the mirror, and were pleasantly surprised. You actually didn’t look half bad, you looked like someone who has just rolled out of bed in a TV commercial.messy hair, swollen lips.l, half naked. You give yourself a self five for waking up actually looking good for once and then head into the bathroom to freshen up.

When you emerge from the bathroom, having brushed your teeth and splashed water in your face. You find Steve sitting on the edge of the bed, shirtless and in his jeans from last night.

“Breakfast?” You ask him.

“Absolutely.” He gives you a dazzling grin before he gets up and slips into the bathroom as you step out.

You move to the kitchen, turned on some music, humming to yourself quietly as you moved about getting out breakfast items. French toast was on your mind.

A couple of minutes later, Steve walked into the kitchen.

“What’s for breakfast?” He asked coming up behind you and looking over your shoulder. He was very much taller than you and basically loomed over you.

“Ooh french toast, my favorite. Want some help?” Steve asked, kissing your cheek.

“Sure, make us coffee.” You said, gesturing to the cupboard where the mugs stayed. He nodded and began to set about his task. He works quietly, and you glance at him as you’re setting the plates on the table.

His back is to you, he is still shirtless. The muscles in his back are ridiculously defined, shifting and rippling as he moved, he is lightly tapping his foot and nodding his head to the beat of the music. The morning light around him makes it look like he isn’t even real, and your heart sudden flutters. Steve feels you staring at him and turns his head to you, with that devastating smile of his on his face.

“You’re staring.” Steve said. And you immediately look back down at the plates in your hand to hide the blush that has crept into your cheeks.

“No I wasn’t.” You snorted, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

Steve chuckles and brings over the coffee he has just made, setting a mug down in front of you. He drops into the seat next to you, and hands you the cutlery and you had him the syrup.

“This is fucking fantastic.” Steve compliments you, as he scarfs down another mouthful.

You just smiled in response. It was kind of cute watching him eat the french toast, he was like a happy little kid, swaying along to the music playing, while he ate.

“Now that I have gone on a date with you, can I ask you a personal question?” You said, breaking the silence between you.

“Shoot.” Steve mumbled through a mouth full of food.

“What was the real reason you and Bucky broke up?” You asked.

Steve paused his chewing for a moment and swallowed. Picking up the coffee mug in front of him and taking a long sip. When he’s done, he sets the mug down and sighs.

“I hate that question.” He stated, with a shrug.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer it.” You replied, feeling bad that you had asked.

“No it’s fine, it’s just complicated with Bucky and I.” He shrugged again, “There were a lot of factors that contributed to us breaking up.” he paused, playing with his food for a moment before he continued. “Bucky just wanted different things from life than I did, he’s got an idea of where he wants his life to go and I don’t. I am more of a live in the moment type of person, he’s got that golden Idea of what life is supposed to be. Wife, kids, white picket fence. And well those ideologies are outdated to me.”

“You don’t want a family?” You asked.

Steve shook his head and just shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“But you still love him?” You said, taking another forkful of french toast.

“Yes, I do.” Steve replied, honestly. “I always will.”

You sat back in your seat, digesting the information Steve had just off loaded to you.

“That’s sweet that you two are still friends though.” You smiled, thinking of how well they worked together, you could totally see them being a couple. In many ways they still acted like one.

Steve chuckled, “Yeah well we sorta promised each other we’d be friends forever, so here were are. Come rain or shine.” He said.

You and Steve spend a good portion of the morning talking to each other, until he excused himself and said he had to go. To your surprise you were disappointed when he had to leave, but you had to get to writing anyway. And your phone had been buzzing incessantly. You knew it was Natasha and Wanda wanting to know how the date went.

Steve said goodbye to you at the door with a lingering kiss on the lips, and you found yourself sighing and leaning against the door when you finally shut it. Steve Rogers had suddenly torpedoed through your life and you found yourself falling for his charming self and you were not going to be able to stop it no matter how hard you tried.

“So? How was it?” Natasha asked. You had just sat down for lunch with her and Wanda later that day when she was immediately asking questions about your date with Steve.

“It was good.” You said noncommittally. Picking up the menu and pretending to read it.

“Y/N.” Wanda exclaimed, yanking the menu out of your hands. Both her and Nat sat opposite you, with an annoyed expectant look on their faces.

“Ugh, fine.” You grumbled, “It was amazing, Steve is amazing, he is just god fucking damn it perfect. There is not one single thing wrong with him!” You said throwing your hands up in the air.

“So are you going to see him again?” Wanda asked

“Maybe.”

“Like a date or as a friend?” Natasha asked.

“I don’t know.” You sighed.

“Do you want to date him?” Wanda asked. These two were relentless.

“No.”

“Why not?” Natasha said, frowning at you. “You just said he is perfect.”

“Because I don’t date.” You shrugged.

“Are you ever going to date?” Wanda said with a laugh.

“Probably not.” You replied.

Natasha sighed, she had been trying to get you to date for years now and she could never get it right. No matter how many guys she introduced you to, you could never seem to find one you liked enough to date them. Maybe you were just broken like that.

“What about Bucky?” Wanda said, after the waitress had taken all of your orders and brought you drinks.

“What about him?” You said.

“Well, obviously you like him too?” she said.

“Yes and he is technically like my boss so there is nothing that can happen between us, besides that kiss was a mistake.” You said, nonchalantly.

“Wait, a kiss? What kiss?” Natasha exclaimed.

Fuck, you had forgotten you didn’t tell them about the time Bucky kissed you in the Hamptons. You wanted to lock that memory away along with the feelings that it brought out in you.

“Fuck.” You muttered, taking a long sip of your drink.

“What kiss Y/N?” Wanda repeated.

“Bucky kissed me in the Hamptons” You sighed, looking at them. They both were staring open mouthed at you.

“And you never told us?!” Natasha exclaimed, almost shouting at you.

“Natasha! Stop yelling!” You hissed at her, when the other patrons around you throw the three of you dirty looks.

“I think this instance warrants yelling.” Wanda said, shaking her head.

“Guys, its not a big deal. We got drunk and were obviously both horny and he kissed me.” You said, trying to brush it off like it mean nothing.

“Did you kiss him back?” Nat asked.

“Yes.”

Wanda and Natasha exchanged a look, “This is dangerous territory Y/N.” Wanda said seriously.

“What, no it’s not.” You said pulling a face.

“Well you have to choose, you can’t lead both of them on.” Natasha said, nodding in agreement with Wanda.

“I am not leading Bucky on!” You exclaimed, downing your drink. “We are friends, I basically work for him.”

“Does he know that?” Wanda asks.

“Yes.”

“But have you verbally said it to him?” she presses on.

“I don’t have to.” You retorted.

“If you say so.” Nat rolled her eyes.

Just then the waitress appeared with your food, and the three of you began to eat. Changing the topic. Wanda said that there was some party she wanted the two of you to attend with her, and Natasha began to tell you some animated story of what happened to her on the subway. But the whole time they were talking, their words were playing over and over in your mind. What if you were leading Bucky on? He had to know that nothing could happen between the two of you, at least not until after the book was done.

You shove those thoughts away, you liked Steve though. Even worse he was Bucky’s ex boyfriend. How would it fare if you were leading them both on, and you suddenly got feelings for both of them what the fuck would you do then. Who would you choose.

A few days later, you are sat in your living room. Laptop in front of you, you were typing away at the latest chapters of Bucky’s book. Lost in the little novel world you had created. You paused occasionally to sip the cold beer from the can that sat beside your laptop.

You had your headphones in, so you didn’t hear Bucky come in. He had the keys to your place for some fucking reason. He had pestered you into giving him a set, you felt it was a weird request but after a while it just became more convenient for the two of you.

“Y/N!” Bucky yells at you, startling the ever living shit out of you.

You fell out of your chair, throwing your headphones off. “God fucking dammit Bucky!” You screamed at him. Bucky stands over you, laughing his ass off at the expression on your face.

“Why do you listen to music so loudly?” He laughed offering you his hand as he pulls you to your feet.

“Maybe don’t sneak up on me!” You exclaimed, hitting him in the chest.

Bucky chuckled and set down the items he had in his hands. Pizza and more beer. “Let’s go out.” He suddenly says, completely changing the conversation.

“What, but you just got here?” You replied.

“Yeah but let’s go do something.” He said.

“It’s about to rain Bucky.” You pointed out. He just shrugged and grabbed your coat off the couch, nearby.

“Come on, let’s go I am feeling adventurous.” Bucky said, with a sudden excitement in his eyes.

You laugh and shake your head, but shrug on your coat and pull on a pair of sneakers as you follow him out of the apartment.

Bucky literally means going on on adventure. He makes you walk through the streets of New York with him, you go into random stores, he makes you try on clothes at a thrift store with him, takes you to the farmers market where you both pretend to be an uptight couple, asking everyone if their food doesn’t have gluten and if they say yes Bucky would sigh dramatically and say “I am allergic to food without gluten!” making you laugh uncontrollably.

The two of you get tipsy on gin from the farmers market, and then proceed to a chocolate shop where you make Bucky try over fifteen pieces of chocolate before he tells you he is going to puke. Bucky insists on going to the top of the empire state building, where he sneaks in a bottle of whiskey and you sit over the viewing point looking out at the late afternoon sun, drinking whiskey and Bucky shouting at the top of his lungs how much he loves this fucking city.

“Bucky stop yelling.” You laughed, as you clutched onto his shoulder. The two of you standing on the edge of one of the benches, overlooking the beautiful city.

“Try it! It’s exhilarating!” He exclaims, looking at you with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

You look at him, and bite your lip. Then letting go of you reservations, you shouted into the air. Startling some pigeons and people standing nearby.

Eventually the security came and scolded the two of you, telling you to act you age. This just made the two of you laugh more. And quickly escape the Empire state building, onto your next adventure.

You run around the city like teenagers without a care in the world. It was one of the best days of your life. You’re sitting on the sidewalk with Bucky, eating donuts from a box drunkenly near his apartment. Laughing at the people passing by, you’re playing a game with him, guessing what all the passersby do.

“I think she’s a lawyer but at night she dresses up as a cat and sleeps on top of her cupboard because its fun.” You said, giggling as you looked at the woman walking passed the two of you.

“No she seems more of a I eat my cats food type of person.” Bucky laughed picking up another donut from the box.

As you are about to answer, there is a flash of lightning in the sky and then the rumble of thunder. “We should head upstairs its going to rain.” Bucky said.

“Hurry before it starts raining.” You said at him as he hauls you to your feet and takes the box of donuts from you, Just you say that there’s a crack of lightning and then the bang of thunder again before the clouds break and torrents of rain come gushing forth. Bucky grabs your hand and the two of you run through the rain across the street for the nearest shelter you can find. By the time you are out of the rain, you are both soaked. Bucky pulls you to him, as you both stepped under the sheltered area of a nearby florist.

You’re both entirely drunk at this point after drinking half the bottle of whiskey and all the gin you had from earlier. Laughing for some unknown reason, He looks down at you, a smile on his face now and he brushes the wet hair on your cheek back behind your ear. In the dusk light, his blue eyes almost look silver. Raindrops falling from his hair onto his face, into his eyes, onto his lips.

His gaze flits from your eyes to your mouth, and before you have a second to register what is happening Bucky Barnes is kissing you, in the pouring rain, beneath the beautiful dusk of New York city and you don’t stop him.

Bucky pulls off his wet shirt and drops it to the floor, his mouth finding yours again. You’re both stripping, dropping wet clothes along the hallway as you stumble through his apartment. It’s so wrong what you’re about to do but it feel so right in the moment.

Bucky holds you face as he kisses you, running his fingers through your wet hair. His lips pressed against yours, tongues dancing with each other. You hands on his muscular torso, the feel of his cold wet skin beneath your fingers makes you dig your nails into the skin as he deepens the kiss.

You suddenly hit something and stop moving. Bucky breaks the kiss, and looks behind you. It’s the couch, he shoves you lightly and you topple backwards onto it, and he climbs on top of you. Trailing kisses across your bare stomach, kissing between your breasts, nipping at your collarbone and neck before capturing your mouth in a bruising kiss again.

His fingers make quick work of the buttons on your jeans before he pulls them and your underwear off in one swift motion, stepping out of his as well. He tosses them across the room, and gets between your legs. His eyes are black and lust blown. He runs his hand across your neck, down slowly over your stomach, across your hips then dips it between your legs, fingers brushing your clit.

You gasped, closing your eyes at the sensation, the cold of his fingers against your heat. “We shouldn’t” You murmured as he kissed the side of your mouth.

“Yeah,” Bucky murmured in agreement. As his fingers circle your clit, making you slicker. Your body is betraying you. You want him, and it’s making that very evident.

“We should stop.” You say, arching your body into him as he slips a finger inside you, then two, moving slowly.

“We can forget about it tomorrow.”Bucky says, as he runs his tongue over your lower lip before biting it. This elicits a moan from you.

“Bucky” You sighed, his kisses and fingers curling inside you are building that ecstatic sensation inside you. All rational thoughts are gone out the window now, you want this and him and you want it now.

“Fuck me.” You whispered to him, looking into his eyes. It was suddenly like months of working together had built up this intense sexual energy between the two of you, and you were both ready to release it.

“With pleasure” Bucky murmurs, brushing his nose against yours before placing a soft kiss on your lips. His fingers move faster, thumb brushing against your clit and suddenly you come. Biting your knuckles are you did.

Bucky slides his fingers out of you, and places them in his mouth tasting you. It was the hottest fucking thing you had ever seen. He doesn’t give you respite as he lines his cock up with your entrance, and sheathes himself in your cunt in one fluid motion.

You both moan at the sensation, he holds your hips and he finds his motion inside you. He places one of your legs on his shoulder, adjusts himself inside you and then begins to thrust, harder, faster.

The room is filled with your moans and Bucky’s harsh breaths, as he fucks you. He is rough and fast with you, the kisses he gives your body are harsh and bruising. It’s lascivious and hard, you scratch at his skin and he bruises yours. It’s a fervent, passionate give and take until the coil snaps and you both come at the same time, you scratch angry red marks down Bucky’s back as you moan his name loudly. He emptied himself inside you, grunting and breathing heavily as he does so.

You both lay tangled in each other’s limbs for a moment as you come down from the high of your orgasm. Bucky gets up first, he sits up slowly and looks at you. Trying to read your face.

You sit up and look at him. “We fucked up…” You said softly.

“We fucked.” Bucky corrected you.

You sighed and stood up, there was suddenly guilt that was washing over you. You knew you had nothing to feel guilty about but here you were feeling guilty. This also had massive implications for your job. Picking up your discarded wet clothes, you begin to pull them on but Bucky stops you.

“Hey, let me give you something to wear, you’re going to get sick if you put on those wet clothes.” He said quietly, taking the wet items from your hands. You didn’t say anything, he takes you by the hand and leads you to the bedroom.

Bucky tosses your wet clothes into the bathroom, and then moves to his closet pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a sweater and handing them to you.

“Thanks” You mumbled, a shiver running through you as the cold suddenly touched your skin. You pull them on, almost immediately drowning in the size of them. The sweatpants were huge, and you had to pull the drawstring tight to make them stay up, even then they were loose for you.

Bucky pulls on a pair of sweats and sits on the bed watching you as you dressed.

“I should go.” You said, typing your hair up in a bun.

“Already?” He says surprised.

“Yes.” You said, shivering again. your mind is filled with thoughts of what you had just done, you needed to get away and clear your head. 

“You can stay the night Y/N.” Bucky replied softly.

“No, I should go.” You insisted.

He sighed, “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t say it please.” You say, almost in a whisper.

Bucky’s eyes meet yours, there’s an unspoken meaning behind the look, a silent agreement. Come tomorrow either of you are going to talk about this. It was a mistake a stupid drunken mistake.

“Let me at least drive you home?” Bucky said, standing up.

“No i’ll walk.” You replied. Grabbing your phone and purse as you walked to the front door.

“It’s late Y/N.” He tried to protest.

“Please, I just need a moment Bucky.” You said, giving him a look.

Bucky stops at the front door, as you step out. “Goodnight.” You say halfheartedly to him. He suddenly reaches down and hugs you tightly. Not saying anything, just holding you. Then he steps back,

“Goodnight Y/N.” He said, and you turn and walk away.

The moment you walk out of his apartment building, you break into a run. You only lived 6 blocks away. And you didn’t know why but you needed to run, and so you did. As you ran, it began to drizzle, and you found yourself crying. You didn’t know why you were crying but you were. The rain hid your tears but once you opened the floodgates you couldn’t stop the tears that were now falling.

“God fucking dammit.” You cursed loudly, as you skidded to a halt i front of your apartment building and keeled over. Gasping for breath as you leaned against the wall, rain now pelting down on your. “God fucking dammit Y/N, you stupid stupid idiot.” You cried. “What have you done!”


	7. Who knew? Bucky knew!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re a writer, and have never been in love before. Though it’s not for a lack of trying! You are tasked with ghost writing a love story for a famous author and now need some real life inspiration. Until you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes … the ultimate lover boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really sort of a filler for the next one! Stevie is a cutie, Bucky is broody, and you make some new friends! Drop me some feedback if you’d like, :) or not either way your choice lol.

A distraction. That’s what you needed, and thankfully when you asked Pepper for a few days off she graciously granted them to you. 

It had been three days since you and Bucky had slept together and he had given you space. He texted or emailed you about the book. He knew he had to give you both some space, when you had woken up the next day, you had love bites all over your body. A reminder of the shitty stupid selfish thing you did and you hated yourself for it.

Packing up your bags, you head to a cabin in the woods with Wanda. A much needed time off from life and the people in your life. You had only told Wanda what happened, and she was being utterly supportive of your decision to go away for a few days, she even covered for you with natasha. Saying it was a work thing when Nat was cross questioning you two.

“So why can’t I come?” Nat whined, as she helped you pack for your trip.

“Because I can only bring one plus one Nat.” You sighed, zipping up your bags and carrying it to the front door.

“I mean, I am not going to say it but I have been your friend longer than Wanda and you should be taking me.” She said nonchalantly, “No offense Wanda.” she threw Wanda an apologetic look,

“Non taken.” Wanda shrugs.

“Nat, you will hate this, its a writers retreat.” You lied.

“Yeah, super nerdy and boring.” Wanda added for good measure.

“Fine.” Nat grumbled, and grabbed one of your bags, helping you and Wanda taking them downstairs. “But when you come back, we are planning a girls trip, because I feel super left out!” She stated.

You just laughed and agreed with her, before you and Wanda got into the car and began your road trip to the cabin.

Four hours later, you had finally reached the cabin. Getting out of the car, you tiredly stretch your limbs and gaze out at the spectacular view of the lake in front of the cabin. The silence was immaculate, it was a log cabin, surrounded by woods and a lake. It was simply breathtaking, you take a deep breath breathing in the clean fresh air, closing your eyes for a moment.

“Come on.” Wanda said quietly beside you. You look at her and smile, linking arms with her as the two fo you walk toward the cabin.

That evening the two of you sit outside on the deck, on the swing. Hot chocolate in hand, you gazed out at the spectacularly starry night.

“This place is so beautiful.” You mused.

Wanda nodded her head in agreement. “Thanks for asking me to come.” Wanda said, clinking her mug of hot chocolate with yours.

You sighed and remain silent, you had turned your phone off for the entire day. You wanted to avoid, texts and calls from everyone. You needed to clear your mind, get yourself back on track.

“Talk to me?” Wanda said softly, she holds your hand in hers and looks at you.

“I really fucked this up, haven’t I?” You said,

“A little.” She replies, honestly.

You chuckled darkly, “What am i going to do Wanda?”

“What do you feel Y/N?” She counters you.

“I don’t know…” You say, looking back out at the lake.

“Yes you do, just say it.” Wanda retorted.

“I can’t” You murmured.

“At some point in your life you are going to have to open yourself up to the idea of being loved Y/N.” Wanda said softly, “You can’t go through life without love, or you will live in a very cold world.”

You sighed deeply, you knew she was right. There was a void in your life, it had been there your whole life. Left there by your parents, your grandparents, you ex boyfriends and girlfriends, fuck buddies. A long string of people who would temporarily fill the void and then only to rip into the void again, leaving it worse than before.

The only constants in your life were Wanda and Natasha, they had been for the longest time. Your dad was a mean drunk who spent half his life drinking and the other half knocking your head into a wall, and your mom was a pill popping schidzo, you had long since given up on them being a part of your life.

Maybe it was the coldness of your upbringing that made you live in a loveless world, but it wasn’t like you didn’t try to fall in love. It was just always complicated.

“Do you want Bucky or Steve?” She asked you.

“Uggghhhh.” You groaned, covering your face with a hand, “That is such a loaded question.”

“It’s not because you know the answer.” Wanda said.

“Who do you think I want? Or rather need?” You asked her.

Wanda thought about it for a moment, “Well, Bucky has the right ideals, he’s got a life plan, he is mature, he knows what he wants in life. And Steve on the other hand, is a golden soul, he seems the type to love hard, but we know nothing about him, really.” She said, “Not forgetting they are possibly both the most gorgeous men I have ever seen.” She laughs, and so do you.

“So we are at an impasse then” You sighed.

“It would seem so.” Wanda replied patting your shoulder sympathetically.

“I have to talk to both of them at some point, i have to tell Steve.” You sighed again.

“Yeah, that’s going to be an awkward conversation.” She chuckles. And you groaned again, just thinking about having that conversation was giving you anxiety.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening sitting on the porch, talking about everything. Wanda always had been an easy comfort in your life. It was a simple friendship, one without restrictions, or expectations. You were glad that she had come with you.

By midnight you both said good night and retreated to your rooms. You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. Sighing irritably you finally give in and reach over to the bedside table. Grab your phone and turn it on.

Immediately as soon as it powers up, there are numerous messages that pop up. A few from work, Nat, and other friends but your heart jumps when you see two missed calls from Bucky and numerous messages from both him and Steve.

Taking a deep breath, you open the messages from Bucky first.

‘Hey, are you okay? Pepper said you needed time off?’ - 8:24AM

‘Is this because of what happened?’ - 8:26AM

‘I am so sorry if it is, I don’t know what I was thinking. I wish I could take it back.’ - 8:27AM

‘Call me when you’re free, please?’ - 8:30AM

You shake your head and feel yourself become angry at his messages. You quickly type out a reply,

‘I needed to clear my head, got out of the city. Be back Sunday, chapters will be completed by deadline don’t worry.’ - 12:24AM.

Then you hit send, and sigh deeply. You opened the messages from Steve next, and you couldn’t help but smile.

‘Hey gorgeous! So I haven’t seen you in a few days, I don’t want to assume it’s because the sex was bad?’ - 6:46PM

‘You’re stressing me out here without replying, was the sex bad? I can make it up to you, in other ways ;)’ - 6:46PM

‘Well I sent you flowers to your office, I hope that’s okay but I hear you’re away. Have a good time away, I really do want to see you when you get back.’ - 7:02PM

You found yourself smiling at his messages, there was some cuteness behind it that you couldn’t not smile. It was the way he was jokingly flirty yet so sincere all the time. You quickly type a message to him and then hit send.

‘Hey you,no the sex was not bad, I mean you could do better but we have lots of time for you to improve ;). I just needed a breather from work. I’ll be back Sunday, We can meet up then?’ - 12:37AM

Steve almost immediately replied.

‘Oh yes, I am looking forward to improving with you! Buck working you too hard? Hope the book is coming along well. Yes, Sunday worlds for me. Come to my place?’ - 12:38AM

“No no, just needed to clear my head, need that sometimes. And yes I can come to your place.’ - 12:38AM.

You replied immediately, this was the first time Steve was inviting you over to his place, and your heart was suddenly thumping in your chest. This was going to give you some insight into his very secretive life.

‘Alright, I will see you Sunday,’ - 12:39AM. Then he sends you the address, its in the upper east side, of course it is.

Suddenly you are very excited to go back home, you want to see Steve and spend time with him. But then there’s that niggling feeling at the back of your mind, it’s a warning? Or something else you can’t tell.

For some reason when Sunday came around you were nervous again, you stand in front of the mirror in your bedroom and look at yourself. Smoothing down the front of your shirt, you had no idea how to dress, or what he even had planned or if there would be other people. So you opted for blue jeans, sneakers, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket.

Steve texted you the address earlier that day, and you made your way there at the proposed time. Of course it was in the upper east side, when you arrived at the place you had to double check that it was the right address. Carnegie Hill, an absolutely affluent neighbourhood, and the house you stood in front just looked like the front door costed more than everything in your apartment.

You walk up to the front door and are about to ring the bell when it opens, you step back startled as Thor’s massive body appears in the doorway. He is shouting something at someone inside he hasn’t seen you yet.

“Fuck you Rogers, This is the last time I am doing this.” He laughed, then turns to you, “Oh hey Y/N.” The handsome blonde grinned down at you.

“Hi.” You replied, slightly confused.

“Come in,” He said after giving you a hug, you followed him inside almost choking when you see the inside of the extravagant home. “Yo Steve!” Thor yells down the hallway, “Your girl is here!”

“I’m not his girl,” You tried to say but it falls on deaf ears as you step into the expensive looking living room and see the many people there. Sam, Pietro, Steve, and Bucky are all sitting on the floor, cards decked out before them, there’s money and poker chips pretty much everywhere.

The patio doors are open, leading onto a terrace that overlooks a garden. On the terrace two dark haired girls sit, sipping what looks like expensive pink champagne. It kinda felt like something out of a magazine cover shoot.

On the couch by Steve’s head a girl with blonde hair is sprawled out, flipping through the netflix selection.

“Y/N!” Steve says, getting to his feet excitedly. Everyone in the room stops what they’re doing and turns to look at you. Making you shift uncomfortably from the attention.

Steve comes over and gives you a hug and without warning kisses you. You pulled back startled, and Steve doesnt seemed phased at all, you see everyone in the room, exchange glances at his sudden affection. Your gaze falling on Bucky who was now not looking at the two of you.

Sam gets you next, “Oh hey, it’s the ghost girl!” Sam exclaims coming over and giving you a hug as well. “Yo guys, this is Y/N, she’s Bucky’s ghost writer!”

There are multiple hi’s and hellos from the room, as Sam puts his arm around your shoulders and introduces you to everyone, pointing to each one of the girls as he introduces them.

“You know Pietro, and JB obviously. And Thor.” He said, and you nod. Sam points to the blonde on the couch, “That’s Sharon, she’s a general hoe and i don’t know why we hang out with her.” Sharon flips Sam off and goes back to looking at the netflix selection. “Over there on the terrace, that’s Jane, she’s a huge nerd also she and Thor fuck sometimes.” Sam laughed as Thor punched him in the back and Jane rolled her eyes before giving you a smile.

“And the gorgeous brunette next to her is Peggy,” Sam pointed to her. She says hi with a smile. You greet them all before Steve leads you to the kitchen to get a drink.

“I’m glad you came.” Steve said, kissing your cheek as he hands you a red plastic cup filled with some mixed alcohol of some kind.

“Thanks for inviting me, i guess.” You replied, sipping the drink and immediately spitting it back in the cup, “What the fuck is in this?” You grimace in disgust.

Steve laughed, “Vodka, gin, apple sours and soda pop. Peggy calls unicorn piss”

“Its horrible.” You replied, pulling a face.

“You get used to it.” Steve shrugged, and sips on his cup of unicorn piss.

“So what’s the occasion?” You asked, gesturing to the living room where all his friends were.

“Oh, it’s a surprise party for my brother” Steve said,

“Doesn’t look like much of a surprise or party.” You pointed out. It looked very much like a frat house party or a BBQ that some teenagers put together. 

He shrugs and picked up a pretzel from the bowl on the table, “He doesn’t care for all that, He just wants to hang out.” he replied, through the pretzel which he is now chewing on.

“So you have a brother?” You mused, “One new thing I finally know about you, aside from the fact that you live in a house that looks like the front door could pay my apartment’s rent for a 5 years” You joked. 

“I do have a brother,” Steve said with a chuckle, “And don’t say shit like that, it’s just a house.”

Steve was so humble sometimes it annoyed you. He was obviously ridiculously fucking wealthy but he never acted like it. He acted like a frat boy who still lived with his parents or something.

“So what the fuck do you do for a living Steve?” You asked, dying to know.

“This again.” He laughs.

You were about to reply when Bucky came strolling into the kitchen, looking like he hadn’t slept in a good few days.

“Stevie, Thor is about to throw Sam off the terrace into the pool over cards, go be the referee, I want to with the fucking bet” Bucky said, stretching and yawning.

“Fuck.” Steve sighed “I’ll be back” and then gave you an apologetic look before he walks out of the kitchen, grabbing his drink and the bowl of pretzels as he does so.

Bucky walks over to the fridge and pulls it open while you lean against the counter, watching him. He pulls out another beer and then leans against the fridge and looks at you.

“Hi.” He says,

“Hi.” You both just look at each other for a moment.

“How’s your head?” Bucky asks. You know what he means.

“Clearer.” You respond.

“So are we cool?” He asks again.

“If you want us to be, yes.” You said.

“I do.” He nods

“Me too.” You agree.

“Let’s not let that happen again.” Bucky said, biting his lower lip slightly. Annoyance flashes through you as your body responds by getting suddenly aroused by his simple action.

“Let what happen again?” Peggy’s voice startles both of you, as she walks into the kitchen.

Bucky clears his throat and stands up straighter when she walks in. You notice this immediately, his whole posture changes around her.

“Just work stuff” Bucky replies, giving you a quick look.

“So how does that work anyway?” Peggy asked as she made herself another drink.

“Ghost writing?” You said, and she nodded, “Well I just kinda write off the ideas Bucky gives me or I take him his life and the people around him and then I put it into my own words and make up a story.”

“Sounds fun.” She smiled at you, as she hopped up onto one of the chairs.

“It is.” You returning her smile.

Peggy was very easy to talk to, you found yourself spending the rest of the afternoon talking to her. Steve had come and found you and hung out with you and her, the other girls joined you two on the terrace a little later. Once everyone had gotten over the initial awkwardness of meeting you, you had begun to enjoy yourself. Steve’s brother it turned out had to cancel his visit and didn’t end up coming over, so they all just hung around, drinking eating and socializing. 

Steve was openly affectionate with you in front of his friends, it did make you feel uncomfortable and you kept shooting glances at Bucky who just over a week ago you had slept with. No one noticed the looks Bucky kept giving you and Steve throughout the night except Peggy.

Later that night Bucky was sitting on the terrace, by himself. Drinking his beer and gazing up at the stars from his seat on the recliner. Peggy steps out on the terrace and takes a seat on the edge of his seat. Bucky looks at her,

“Whats up?” He asked.

“How long?” Peggyy asked simply.

“What?” He replied confused.

“How long have you had feelings for her?” Peggy repeated.

“Ah fuck.” Bucky muttered and sat up, “How did you figure it out?” He sighed.

“Your longing gazes? Your forlorn looks? The way you are around her?” Peggy shrugged.

“Please don’t tell Steve, he really likes this one Peggy.” Bucky said, almost pleadingly.

“You know Steve isnt serious about any of them Buck.” Peggy said.

“No he is about her,” Bucky shook his head and Peggy frowned at him. “He said he’s going to marry her”

“What the fuck, no way.” Peggy exclaimed.

“Yeah, she’s the one.” Bucky sighed and leaned back down again.

Unbeknownst to the two of them, you had been standing nearby the door and had heard the entire exchange. Your heart was suddenly hammering in your chest, and you had to get out of there. It was all too serious, and even worse. Bucky knew what Steve had said about you and how he felt about you and he slept with you anyway. It just made you feel sick, as if you had committed the ultimate betrayal. Which you had.

You turned away from the door quickly and half run out of the living room. Bumping into Steve as you did.

“Whoa hey there, where are you running to?” He laughed, drunkenly.

“I-I have to leave.” You said, almost panicked.

Steve suddenly turned somber, “Hey is everything okay?” He asked, putting his drinks down and placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Yes i’m fine I just need to leave.” You replied, giving him a quick smile. “I don’t feel well.”

“You can sleep in my room?” Steve offered. You were about to protest but then see Peggy and Bucky walking back in from the terrace. You weren’t sure what you reaction to Bucky was going to be in that moment and you were slightly inebriated so you just nodded your head and Steve seemed to sigh gratefully as he led you through the massive house to his bedroom.

“Do you need anything else?” Steve asked you as you emerged from the bathroom, wearing one of his white t-shirts.

“No i’m okay thanks Steve.” You replied giving him a small smile.

“Okay, I’ll be back now I’ll just go say goodnight to everyone.” Steve said, standing up.

“You don’t have to, you know. I’ll be fine here alone.” You tried to protest.

Steve just shook his head, “No I want to.” He said. He came over to you and gave yo a kiss on the forehead. A gesture you were still not sure why he was bestowing upon you. He was so affectionate it scared you, but somehow a small part of you adored that about him.

“I’ll be back.” He said giving you a dashing smile before he left the room shutting the door.

You climbed into the massive bed, and pulled the coo covers over you, sinking into the plush pillows around you. You stare up at the ceiling, your mind replaying the information you had just found out again and again. Normally you would be running out the door by now, yet here you were knowing how Steve felt about you and you were still in his bed.

Steve came back to the room a few minutes later, and quietly slipped into bed beside you after he got out of his clothes. His arms found you immediately and he pulls you toward him. For some reason you let him, and he kisses the back of your neck. You had no idea what the fuck you were doing, you never cuddled you hated it. Everything was screaming at you to get out of there and not let this go any further but you didn’t stop him.

Steve trails kisses along your neck and shoulders, he runs his hand down the side of your naked thigh as he does so, shifting so your bodies are flush against each other. You know what’s about to happen and you know you shouldn’t do it but you felt something inside your chest and all you wanted was Steve.

Turning around so that you faced him, you brought your lips to his and kiss him, cupping his face in your hands. He holds you closer, deepening the kiss as he nudges your legs open with his knee, his hands sliding down between them.

‘Cold kisses, hot skin, finger tips grazing over your core as your gasp at his touch sighing his name.’

Your eyes flew open as your heart raced, Steve kisses at the skin on your neck. He doesn’t notice the panic on your face as you dig your fingernails into his skin at your thoughts.

‘Hard, fast, ecstatic pleasure rips through you. It’s hot and cold as his lips ghost over your skin, you’re moaning his name again, feeling him inside you, moving harder faster passionately.’

And you know you can’t do this, not in this state of mind. Not like this, not so soon, not with Bucky in the same house.

“Steve stop.” You say softly and pull away. He looks at you with a concerned look on his face.

“Are you okay? Did I do something?” Steve asked.

“No…I’m..I just don’t feel well” You lied.

Steve nods and sighs, pulling you into his arms again. And guilt rushes through you. Here you were with this man who was almost laying his heart out bare for you and you were kissing him and your mind was running to thoughts of Bucky fucking you.

What the fucking hell were you going to do. That was your last thought before you passed out restlessly in his arms


	8. Love is for children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re a writer, and have never been in love before. Though it’s not for a lack of trying! You are tasked with ghost writing a love story for a famous author and now need some real life inspiration. Until you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes … the ultimate lover boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one hurt me to write! lol I hope you guys like it, everyone’s lives are just a cluster fuck at this point! Also next chapter you finally find out what Steve does for a living :P

“James Buchanan Barnes, you are a fucking ass.” You yelled and threw your laptop at him. Bucky ducks out of the way as the laptop sails inches away from his face. You stormed out of his apartment, slamming the door with such force it rattles the frame.

Bucky rushes after you, he is just as angry as you are. “Are you fucking crazy?!” He yells at you as he yanks open the door and storms after you down the hallway. You were startled as you weren’t expecting him to come after you,

You whirled around angrily and face him, “Yes I am fucking crazy and you’re an entire douchebag!” You almost screamed.

“You threw your laptop at me!” Bucky yells

“Because you are infuriating!” You yell back.

“That is attempted assault!”

“So call the fucking cops, fuckface.” You shot back.

Neither of you are ready to yield your argument and it’s obviously escalating. Bucky’s chest is heaving angrily, and you’re not going to back down. He had been an ass, he had said an asshole thing and you weren’t going to let it slide. This had been the third time he had done this to you and you were sick of his shit.

“You can’t hate me for saying the truth.” Bucky snapped, angrily raking his fingers through his dark hair.

“Fuck you Bucky.”

“Fuck you too.” He retorted.

“You know what, fuck this, I quit.” You said, throwing your hands in the air. Bucky’s whole face changed when you said those words, he immediately softens, his anger seemed to dissipate.

“Wait, no Y/N.” He tried to say but you didn’t hear him, you turn around and get into the elevator letting the doors slide closed in his face.

All the way home, your phone is buzzing. Bucky keeps calling but you don’t pick up, you don’t want to talk to him right now. It’s not enough that he said what he said, now he suddenly regrets saying it.

When you get home, you realize you had left your, probably now shattered, laptop at Bucky’s apartment and you groaned loudly. Kicking the door shut behind you, you drop your items on the kitchen counter and move to the fridge. You pull out a bottle of wine and look at it for a moment, nope you needed something stronger. Putting the wine back in the fridge you opened the freezer and pulled out the vodka, you grab a glass from the cupboard and head to the living room.

You sit outside on the balcony, and pour yourself a finger of vodka. Placing your phone and the bottle down onto the table, before downing the drink. The alcohol sears your throat as you swallow it but it’s a welcomed feeling when your ears almost immediately begin to tingle from the sensation the alcohol creates.

You pour another finger of vodka and sigh. Looking out at the city before you, its dusk and the sky is brilliant hues of red, orange and purple. Beside you, your phone rings and you sigh irritably. Grabbing it you answer it without looking at the caller ID.

“Bucky stop fucking calling me.” You snapped. 

“Uhh…Hi Y/N.” The confused voice on the other line said.

‘Oh fuck Steve, I’m sorry.” You said quickly apologizing. You slap your forehead with the palm of your hand as you silently curse yourself for not looking at the caller ID.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked.

“Yeah sorry, rough day.” You mumbled.

“What did Buck do?” He said.

“Ugh nothing Steve, it’s work stuff.” You sighed.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Steve asked.

“No Steve, I can handle Bucky myself, i don’t need your help. Stay out of my shit.” You snapped. Immediately regretting it, but you were tired and irritated and Steve was being kind of annoying for some reason. You knew this had nothing to do with him, well it kind of did but he wasn’t going to help the situation.

“Geez, what flew up your ass and died?” Steve snorted, he sounded slightly annoyed.

‘What do you want Steve?” You replied, sighing exasperatedly, choosing to ignore his snappy comment.

“Well I was going to ask if you wanted to go out with me tonight, but from your tone I am assuming its going to be a no?” He said.

“You assume correct.” You said.

Steve sigh’s. “Okay well, when you’re feeling better can I take you out?”

“Listen Steve, I just think you and I aren’t going to work out.” You said, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

Steve laughs harshly through the receiver, “That’s a joke right? You’re using the most cliched excuse ever to blow me off?”

“Steve.” You started but he cuts you off.

“It’s fine you don’t have to explain yourself Y/N. It was nice knowing you, see you around.” He says then hangs up.

You look at your phone in your hand and sighed deeply, you always did this. Every fucking time, you had to ruin things beyond repair. Why you were like this was a mystery to you. But you knew you right now, all you wanted to do was get drunk and forget this whole damn day.

This time you tip the vodka bottle and pour two fingers of the clear liquid into the crystal glass, knocking it back before you had even set the bottle down.

You repeat the action twice before you pour another glass, then take a moment. You can feel the alcohol coursing through your system now. Your fingertips tingle and your mind was already a little fuzzy.

Your mind wandering back to earlier that day, before your argument with Bucky.

‘You are sat with Bucky in the living room, beside each other. Leaning over the laptop in front of you. You are working on the latest chapter of the book with him, when he brushes your hair over your shoulder, he said it was getting in his face. But it was the gesture that makes you look into each other’s eyes. Suddenly Bucky kisses you and you kiss him back for only a moment before you pulled away.

“No no no, stop Bucky.” You gasped getting up and picking up your laptop.

“What, why?” He is confused.

“We said not again!” You exclaimed. “Also Steve.”

“Thought you were the kind of girl who didn’t care about sleeping around?” Bucky said.

Those words suddenly sparked anger in you and you flew off the handle at him. That’s what had started your argument and from there it just got worse and worse and ended with you throwing your laptop at him. ‘

The sky is rapidly dimming, as you sit in silence on the balcony enjoying the cold evening air. Stars are just beginning to twinkle in the sky, a soft knock on the glass balcony door shakes you from your daydreams.

“Wanda, hey!” You said, beckoning her onto the balcony.

She greets you and then takes a seat beside you at the wrought iron table. “Vodka?” she said, picking up the bottle and looking at it.

“Yup.” You respond.

“That bad?” She raises an eyebrow.

“The fucking worst.” You said, taking a sip from the glass you held.

“Want a drinking buddy?” She asked.

“Sure.”

Wanda then stands up and heads back inside, returning a few moments later with a glass of her own. She pours herself a drink, straight vodka same as you and the two of you sit in companionable silence for a while.

“Want to talk about it?” She finally asked when she watched you top up your glass again.

“No.” You mumbled, wiping the side of your mouth where you had spilled a few drops of vodka.

“Bucky or Steve?” Wanda said.

“It’s complicated.” You just shrugged.

“No it’s not.” Wanda sighed.

You ignored her for a moment, you didn’t want to talk about it. You wanted to forget about it, it hurt. You wanted to forget stupid Bucky and his stupid smile, and his jokes that made you laugh. You wanted to forget Steve and his kind smile and happy eyes, and that ridiculous way he made you feel safe. Most of all you wanted to forget all the feelings these two men brought out in you.

“Fuck my life is a mess.” You sighed, Wanda nodded beside you and ddowned her drink, and immediately topped it off again.

“Yeah I have been there.” She said, tossing back the alcohol and pulling a face.

“How did you handle it?” You asked copying her motion of downing the Vodka and filling you rglass again.

“Uhhh I didn’t do anything.” She replied, shrugging.

“Nothing? You must have done something.How strong were your feelings?” You said.

“Pretty strong.” Wanda replied.

“Who was it? How come I don’t know this? Was it that guy from the play?” You said,

“No, he was too cocky. Someone else” She said, “Do you want something to eat?” changing the subject.

“Alright, wait so If you could do it all over again, would you go back and tell him how you felt?” You asked, not wanting to change the topic just yet.

“I don’t know” She said with a sigh, “It might end up hurting me more than anything.”

“Yeah but doesn’t this hurt? Sitting here, single, and alone and ugh. What am i even saying! What if they felt the same way?” You said, shoving her shoulder lightly.

Wanda suddenly looks at you, and there’s a weird intensity in her eyes. “I love you.” She said. You look at her and your eyes widen for a moment. The realization of what she had just said hit you like a ton of bricks and you did what you always do. 

“Shit!” You sighed, putting your glass down, you knew what she meant and how she meant it and you were dreading this day would eventually come. No one can just be friends and fuck.

“I love you.” Wanda repeated. “I should have told you, I thought you knew.”

You don’t say anything, you shook your head and just grabbed the bottle of vodka off the table and stood up. With no explanation you were drunk and your drunk brain isn’t registering what you were doing.

“Y/N!” Wanda called after you but you ignore her, and pull on your boots, grab your phone and storm out of your apartment, slamming the door behind you. You had no idea where you were going but you just ran.

Steve walked into his house to find Sam and Bucky sitting on the couch drinking and being general fuckabouts. This was how it always was though, his house was the hangabout for the group, he never minded but he was in a bad mood after his conversation with you.

Ripping off his tie and not bothering to greet his friends, he walked into the living room and kicked passed bucky’s legs, kicking them off the coffee table.

“What the fuck man!” Bucky exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. Steve ignores Bucky and continues down the hallway.

“Asshole!” he hears Bucky call out to him, and this just angers Steve more. He walks into his room and kicks the door shut behind him. He quickly sheds the blue collared shirt he is wearing and his slacks and put on some work out shorts. He needs to get to the gym and hit something or he is going to hit Bucky.

After tying the laces to his sneakers, Steve walks shirtless back through the house, again walking passed Bucky and Sam, kicking Bucky’s feet off the coffee table in annoyance.

“Okay, why are you being such a fucking little bitch.” Bucky snaps and stands up, squaring up to Steve.

“What did you do Buck?” Steve snarls at his friend.

Bucky gives him an annoyed confused look. Sam stands up and tries to get between the two of them but Steve shoves him back down onto the couch. “What did you do to her?” Steve’s voice raises an octave.

Realization suddenly clicks on Bucky’s face and he knows what Steve is talking about. “I don’t know what you are on about, man.” Bucky snapped.

“Don’t fucking lie to me Buck.” Steve said, his voice rising an octave again.

“I didn’t fucking do anything to her!” Bucky replied, exasperatedly.

“Then why did she tell me she doesn’t want to see me again?” Steve asked, his voice suddenly dangerously low. Bucky knows Steve better than he knows himself, and he knows how angry Steve is right now, one little wrong phrase and Steve will fly off the handle at him.

“I don’t know, ask her yourself Steve.” Bucky retorted.

“What did you do?” Steve repeats.

“Nothing!” Bucky exclaims.

“What did you do Bucky.” again,

“Steve…” Bucky said in a warning tone.

“What. Did. You. Do?” Steve said through gritted teeth.

“Don’t make me say it, please.” Bucky said, his expression suddenly pained. He knows Steve isn’t going to drop it until he gives him a proper answer.

Sam stands up, he knows what Bucky is about to say. Bucky told him what happened, he also knows Steve is going to probably kill Bucky if he doesn’t get between the two of them.

“Yo, Steve, relax man.” Sam said, placing his hand on his friends shoulder.

Steve doesn’t look at Sam, he glares angrily at Bucky. “Say it.” Steve said, coldly.

“What do you want me to say Steve?” Bucky sighed,

“Be a fucking man and say it Bucky.” Steve snapped.

Sam throws Bucky a warning look and slightly shakes his head. Steve sees this, and looks between the two of them. Then he steps back, his heart drops because he can see on Bucky’s face, what he thought was true.

“You fucked her didn’t you.” Steve said bitterly.

“Stevie.” Bucky starts to say but Steve doesn’t want to hear it. Bucky knew, he knew how Steve felt about you and he still went ahead with it.

“When?” Steve asked.

Bucky doesn’t answer, he just looks at his friend, a pained expression on his face.

“Steve, take a breath.” Sam said softly, as he sees Steve’s fists clenched at his side.

Steve looks at Sam and then at Bucky, “Get the fuck out of my house, both of you.” Steve said coldly, then whirled around and stormed away.

Bucky is about to go after him but Sam stops him, “Unless you want to die tonight, let him cool down Buck.” Sam said, grabbing Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky wants to say something, he needs to fix this. He has to, he doesn’t want to lose Steve as a friend but he feels like it’s already too late. He fucked up and he fucked up bad.

You drunkenly stumbled out of the bar at 2AM, still holding a half empty bottle of beer as you did so. Your mind was swimming viciously, the amount of alcohol you had drunk should have knocked you out by now but nope, your body was a trooper.

You walk along the sidewalk, humming drunkenly to yourself. Pause for a moment to swing from your bottle, and spill half of it down the front of your shirt.

“Shit.” You sighed, rubbing the alcohol away with the palm of your hand. Looking across the road you see the sign for a 24 hour diner and your drunk mind immediately thinks about bacon and eggs. You want bacon and eggs, continuing your drunken stumble across the road you make your way into the diner and collapse into one of the booths. A waiter comes over to take your order,

“Please don’t puke in the booth.” She asks you meekly.

“Oh fuck, no I - uh- no - I won’t puke, puked already.” You hiccuped, “Can I have eggs and bacon?”

She nods and walks away for a moment, then returns with a mug of black coffee for you, and sets it on the table. “Here, drink this.” She said giving you a quick smile.

You sit up straighter in the booth and look at her, suddenly touched by her small gesture of kindness. You picked up the cup of coffee, blowing at it slightly to cool it down, before taking a sip. The warm dark liquid immediately made you feel better, and you sighed.

Placing the cup down, you rested your head in your hands. Your mind wandering back to the events of earlier today. You were a horrible friend for hurting Wanda like that, and Bucky and Steve.

“Fuck.” You muttered and pulled out your phone and looked at the time, it was almost half past two. You needed to get home and get some rest, or at least attempt to sleep off this horrendous binge drinking session.

“Y/N?” A voice says, and you whip your head up in the direction of the voice.

“Thor?” You slurred drunkenly. The tall handsome blonde is staring down at you with a disapproving look.

“What are you doing here? Are you alone?” He asked, glancing around the almost empty diner.

“Yeah I’m alone and i am eating coffee and drinking bacon and eggs.” You giggled.

Thor sighed and took a seat opposite you. “Y/N, how much have you had to drink?”

“A loooooot.” you replied dragging out your answer.

“Come on let me get you home.” Thor said.

“But my eggs and bacon” You said, pouting.

“I will make you some just let me get you home, yeah?” Thor said, getting up and hauling you to your feet.

“Okay” You mumbled as your head started spinning again once you were on your feet. You let him guide you out of the diner and into his car, where you promptly passed out in the backseat, you were pretty sure at some point you had threw up but you blacked out and that was that.

Thor glances at you through the rearview mirror, passed out in the back seat. He sighed deeply again and pulled out his phone. He dials and waits three rings before its answered.

“Yo, Steve. We have a problem.” He said, looking back at you again and shaking his head. “Yeah I found her, i’ll bring her over.”

The first thing that hits you when you open your eyes was the pristine whiteness of the room you were in. You bolted upright and immediately regretted it as you clutch your mouth and run for the nearest door you find, holding back vomit.

Keeling over the toilet you threw up once, twice, thrice. Finally able to catch your breath you leaned your face against the cold tiles on the wall and took three deep breaths. You looked around at the bathroom, it looked expensive and way too fancy to be any of your friends houses.

You get up off the floor, and look down at your body. You are wearing guys t-shirt and nothing else except you underwear. “What the fuck.” You whispered to yourself, feeling a little terrified as you wracked your brain trying to remember what the fuck happened.

As you walked back into the room, you glance out the window and see a street sign, Carnegie hill. You frowned and tried to remember how you got here. Because you were all the way across town. You looked around the room for your phone, clothes, anything that might give you an inclination of what happened but nothing was there.

Suddenly the bedroom door opened, you yelped in surprise and jumped onto the bed, again regretting it as your head started spinning again. You fell back against the pillows, as Steve steps in.

“Steve!” You exclaimed, “What the fuck.”

“Yeah uh hi.” He said.

You both awkwardly look at each other for a moment, “Why am I here?” You asked, pulling the covers over your half naked body.

“You don’t remember much I guess?” Steve sighed, “Well after you went on what I am assuming was your little binge drinking session, you sent me a whole string of angry texts and Natasha who is now dating Thor i don’t know if you know that, called me in a panic because Wanda said you pulled a fight or flight whatever that means, and they wanted to know if I was with you. Which I obviously was not because you blew me off but nevertheless, Thor worked a little of his magic and we tracked your phone.”

Your mind raced as you tried to remember half of what he had just said. “So why am I in your bed? In your clothes?” You asked quietly.

“Because you passed out in Thor’s car, and he didn’t know where you lived so he just brought you here.” Steve shrugged.

“You didn’t have to this you know.” You said, “I can take care of myself, I would have gotten myself home.”

“You’re reckless.” Was all Steve said before he turned around and began to walk out of the room. “There is breakfast in the kitchen, clothes for you in the closet and you can shower.” then he shut the door on his way out.

You stared after him, staring blankly at the door. You knew why Steve was helping you, sure you blew him off but he still helped you out, he still made sure you were safe, your friends still trusted him enough to keep you in the state that you were in last night and you were the asshole who was just going to break his heart.


	9. Fairy-tale endings are just that...fairy-tales.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re a writer, and have never been in love before. Though it’s not for a lack of trying! You are tasked with ghost writing a love story for a famous author and now need some real life inspiration. Until you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes … the ultimate lover boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was EXHAUSTING to write! I had writers block so I truly hope it is up to scratch! There is only one more chapter left for this lil fic so get ready for some shit to go down humans! lol I can promise at least a few hearts are going to break so don’t hate me too much!

Here’s the thing, you were the type of person to hide from your feelings you always had been. But now sitting here in Steve’s bedroom, freshly showered and smelling clean once more, dealing with a humongous hangover and all these feelings swimming around in your head you didn’t know what to do.

Don’t be a coward, you thought to yourself. The internal battle you had been having with yourself had raged on for well over twenty minutes before you made a decision. So with a deep sigh, you stood up and walked out of the bedroom.

Steve’s house was huge to say the least, it was relatively easy to get lost in it. So as you wandered the hallway, you paused when you came to a wall filled with photographs. It looked like family portraits and candid shots of friends. Your gaze falls to one particular picture and you lean in to have a closer look.

Suddenly it clicks in your head, you know why Steve is so secretive about what he does and also how he has so much money.

“Holy fuck.” You whispered to yourself as you looked at more photos.

“What are you doing?” Steve’s sudden voice and appearance startles you and you helped jumping away from the wall.

“Sorry, I was just, I got lost looking for the kitchen.” You stumble over your words.

Steve just looks at you, he is shirtless and in gym shorts, barefoot. He looked ridiculously athletic that it actually was not fair.

“It’s this way.” Steve gestured to his right, and you just nodded and followed him to the kitchen. He walked in front of you, his back muscles shifting and bulging with every step that he took. Sometimes you wondered how you were so fucking dumb to not want to be with this perfect specimen.

“Take a seat.” Steve ordered you, and you obliged, quietly slipping into one of the comfortable chairs at the island counter.

He busies himself making the two of you breakfast, he works in silence. All while you sit uncomfortably in your chair not knowing what to say to him. You had been an ass to him and he still came to your rescue even though you didn’t need rescuing that is.

The sun is streaming through the large windows in the kitchen, you’re lost in your thoughts when Steve places a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon with a cup of coffee and two aspirin in front of you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Eat.” Is all he says before he takes a seat opposite you.

Both of you quietly begin to eat, the food helps with your hangover almost immediately making you feel better. Casting a quick glance at Steve, you see his gaze is focused on the food before him. You know you have to talk to him, about everything. There is no point in hiding it.

“Steve…” You said softly, and he looks up from his plate at you. Those kind blue eyes momentarily knocking you breathless. “I have to tell you something.”

“I know.” He replied. A confused look coming across your face,

“You know?” You repeated.

“Bucky told me.” Steve said, taking a sip of the coffee before him.

“Oh…” was all you managed to muster. Of course Bucky told him, why wouldn’t Bucky tell him.

“So is that the reason you won’t date me?” He asked.

You remained quiet for a few minutes, then sighed deeply. “Steve, I am not the girl you date, I am the girl you fuck for a while before you meet the girl you date.” You said.

Steve frowned, “Why do you think so little of yourself?”

“I don’t, it’s just that…” You begin but he cuts you off.

“You are such an extraordinary person, sometimes I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.” He said softly. There’s that damned look in his eyes again, its a look of love and adoration and it slowly killing you.

“I’m sorry…” You muttered, looking down at the plate in front of you.

“For what?” Steve asked.

“Everything I guess,” You replied.

“Well, what do you want Y/N?” Steve said. There is a clink of metal against ceramic as he drops his knife and fork onto the plate and leans back in his seat, looking at you intensely.

“I don’t know.” You said.

“Not good enough, what do you want?” Steve repeated.

You look at him with a frown, “I don’t know, Steve.” You said exasperatedly.

“You do know, say it.” He insisted.

“I don’t.” You protest. Suddenly your heart was hammering in your chest, and your emotions were getting the better of you, what the fuck is happening, you thought to yourself. As you looked at Steve, this man who you basically knew nothing about, you couldn’t help the flutter you felt in your chest.

Steve leaned forward and looked at you, intensely. “Okay, well who do you want?”

You didn’t even have to think about it before the words were tumbling out of your mouth. “You.” You said softly.

Steve’s expression changes when you say that, “So then why did you sleep with Bucky?” He asked quietly.

You opened your mouth to answer but then closed it, the answer you had in mind was too hurtful to him. You couldn’t use the excuse that you were scared, it was a pathetic excuse. You were selfish in that moment, when you slept with Bucky. Both of you were.

“I don’t have an answer for that.” You replied.

Steve frowned, “Where does that leave us then?”

“I don’t know what I want in life, I know and I fucked up with Bucky. I know it was a shitty thing to do, and I am so sorry Steve but I like you and I can’t deny that.” You said. “It’s just that..” again he cuts you off. 

“And there’s nothing going on between you and Buck?” Steve said.

You shook your head. There really wasn’t anything, yes you were intensely physically attracted to him but that was it. Bucky and you together was a gasoline fire that wasn’t going to end well.

“So why are you fighting this?” he asked.

“Because.” You sighed exasperatedly, “ I don’t know anything about you, you’re so secretive and I am assuming from the pictures on the wall that your job isn’t exactly what the world would call kosher.”

Steve frowned, “So because you don’t know what I do for a living, we can’t be together?”

“It’s not that, it’s just, you’re so secretive.” You sighed, “I can’t jump into this blindly only to have my heart broken because oh it turns out you’re married with three kids.”

He chuckled at your comment, “OK,firstly I am not married nor do I have kids. I am an open book. Ask me anything.” Steve said.

You paused for a moment, suddenly unsure if you wanted to know more about him. What if you found out something that changed everything between the two of you, were you ready for that?

“So, you’re Tony Stark’s brother?” You said, apprehensively.

“Adoptive brother, yes.” Steve answered.

“That’s where all this comes from?” You gesture to the massive kitchen, but you meant his extravagant home

“Yup.”

“Isn’t Tony Stark an arms dealer?” You mused, remembering reading an article about him once.

“We prefer the term weaponsmith.” Steve replied with a smirk.

“Oh great, I’m dating an arms dealer” You sighed, running your fingers through your hair.

“We’re dating?” He said, questioningly with a smile.

You looked at him, pensive for a moment. “We come from such different worlds Steve, you live the kind of life I write about for other people.” You said, “I mean look at all this.” once again gesturing to his house.

“Why does me being rich bother you?” Steve sighed,

“It doesn’t, I just,” you paused, not really having an answer for him. “We’re just so different.”

“And? No two people who are in a relationship are supposed to be mirror images of each other Y/N. if that was the case, relationships would be the most boring venture on the planet.” He said.

He was right, you knew he was. The two of you got along perfectly, there hadn’t been a moment since you had met where you were not drawn to him. From the late nights you got to spend with him, to the weekend away, the annoying texts and the flowers always being sent to you. Steve had put his heart on his sleeve for you from the beginning and as cheesy as it sounded Steve made your heart sing.

“Steve, I..” You began to say but he cuts you off, startling you as he stood up and came over to where you sat. His lips crashes against yours as he cupped your face, kissing you fervently and deeply.

Moments later when he pulled away, you were left utterly breathless. Steve pulls back slightly and looks into your eyes, “Tell me that kiss didn’t take your breath away.” He murmurs,brushing his lips against yours softly.

You couldn’t find the words in that moment, instead you locked lips with him again, pulling his body closer to you, enjoying the fervor of the moment.

You couldn’t quit. That was what Pepper had told you rather strictly and mother-like. There was an ironclad contract in place that didn’t allow you to quit for all your protests and arguments. Pepper had then asked you the question you had been dreading, were you romantically involved with Bucky.

You lied to her obviously, and she seemed to buy it. But now you sat at your desk holding your head in your hands contemplating how the fuck you were going to write this love story when you couldn’t stand the sight of the man you were writing it for.

When you looked up a familiar face approached your desk.

“Hey.” Wanda said, coming to a halt when she reached your desk.

“Hi…” You replied. Both of you just looking at each other.

“Got a second?” She asked.

“Sure.” You gesture to the empty chair beside you which she meekly takes a seat in.

There’s a moment of silence between the two of you, as Wanda looks at her hands, nervously wringing them and cracking her knuckles.

“Y/N.”

“Wanda.” You both say each others names at the same time.

“You go first.” You said and she nods, taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry I ruined our friendship.” She sighed, “I should never have said anything.”

“You didn’t ruin anything Wanda, I’m a fucking asshole who really doesn’t deserve you.” You replied instantly.

She laughs softly, “I wish I could take it back, but the truth is I do love you. But I also want you to be happy.” She said, she reaches out and hesitates for a moment before gripping your hand in hers. “I’ll always want you to be happy first.”

“Wanda…” You said softly.

“No, no don’t say anything. I know you love Steve, and that’s okay. He’s good for you.” She interrupted.

“I’m not in love with Steve.” You said.

And she sighed, “Even a blind man could tell you that you are, give him a chance or rather stop thinking you aren’t worthy of being loved because you are and I can tell you right now Steve is the kind of guy who would love you so fiercely. Don’t ruin that.” Wanda said, giving you a smile. “Don’t let what your past define who gets to love you.” She brushed away a tear that had escaped your eye.

You groaned and covered your face with your hands, you loved Wanda, you did. But then there was Steve, who set your whole world on fire, and Bucky who was a fucking asshole but there was just this fatal attraction between the two of you.

In your heart you already knew who you had chosen but that didn’t mean you didn’t wish you could have Wanda as well.

“We’re okay.” Wanda said, lightly punching you in the shoulder. “I promise we’re okay.”

You held back the tears that were threatening to fall when you looked at her, “What the fuck did I do to deserve you.” you said to her in choked voice.

Wanda laughed, “I have no idea, but i’ll always be here.” She smiled at you. Throwing your arms around her, you hug her tightly and she returns the affection. It was a moment you needed, out of all the things you had fucked up in your life, your relationship with Wanda had always been one of the most important ones and a sense of relief fills you in that moment when you realize you hadn’t fucked it up entirely.

It was bitterly dark outside that night, the clouds had completely blanketed the sky. Enveloping everything in darkness. You sat on the balcony, legs pulled up to your chest on one of the deck chairs, staring out into the black abyss that was the night sky.

There was a dull ache in your chest and you knew what it was, you knew you had to talk to Bucky. It was a conversation you had to have, to make it worse for yourself, you had found one of his sweaters in your apartment and pulled it on before you settled into the chair outside.

In your hand, you held your phone and in the other a mug of steaming coffee. For some reason you were scrolling through the photos and texts you had with Bucky. And it dawned on you, you did love him. Very much so. Months of working together, all those tedious hours together. Of course you loved him, maybe not in the way he would have wanted but you did care for him, and he meant the world to you. Your life wouldn’t be the same without him in it, and cutting him out completely would have been a mistake.

Bucky was a truly remarkable guy, and you were lucky to have him in your life. You couldn’t deny that. It just sucked that it had to come at the price of choosing between him and Steve. Because your heart already belonged to Steve, it had belonged to Steve long before you even realized it.

Even after everything that had happened in your life, you had never thought you’d be able to let yourself love. Yet here you found yourself unconsciously loving both men at the same time. But you had fallen for Steve, you fell in love all at once, like free falling from the edge of a cliff and plunging into icy waters below. It was a shock but a freeing experience. You had fallen in love with the way he treated you, the way he made you feel safe when he was around you, the way he cared even and persisted in being in your life. He sort of thrust himself into your life and you couldn’t help but fall in love with him.

Whereas Bucky, you had learned to love him. It was like learning to love the beauty and cold of the snow or the slow love that grew over a cold winter’s fire. You learned to love his flaws, his wit, the way he smiled whenever you made a shitty joke. The way the two of you kind of had one mind, the way he fought your every decision because he challenged you to be better. It was a slow gradual love.

Sighing deeply to yourself, you closed your eyes and took in the scent of his sweater. You had made a decision and tomorrow, you were going to have to talk to Bucky. It was going to break your heart but it had to be done.

It’s cold outside, winter is rapidly approaching. After you had spent the better part of your day pouring over your work and trying to write as much for Bucky’s book as you could. You made your way out of the office and hailed a cab, giving the cab driver Bucky’s address. Then sat back in the seat and tried to steel your nerves.

Stepping out of the cab after you paid the driver, you adjust the strap of your laptop bag on your shoulder and take a deep breath. You had one more stop on your tour of apologies that you were doing, now four days later after storming out of Bucky’s apartment you had returned in attempts to make some amends and talk about what to do going forward.

The elevator ride up to his loft apartment was torture, your heart was beating rapidly in your chest and your hands felt clammy. You stood in front of his apartment door for a solid minute, hands shaking before you shakily raised a fist and knocked on the door. You took a final deep breath to calm yourself down before you faced him.

Bucky opens the door, looking like he hadn’t slept in a few days. His hair is messy and his stubble has grown out. But he still looked as handsome as ever, wearing a grey pullover and a pair of jeans, barefoot. His eyes widen momentarily when he sees you, but he immediately composes himself.

“Hi.” He breathed, a small smile played on his handsome face, his eyes seemed kind of sad to see you.

“Hey,” You replied, slightly awkwardly.

There’s a pause before he talks again, “Fuck, sorry come in.” he said stepping to the side. You walked into his apartment and awkwardly look around the living room for a place to sit. Not wanting to sit on the couch he had fucked you on as memories of that night came rushing back.

Opting for the other couch, you take a seat and wait for him to sit down. The coffee table is littered with beer bottles and crumpled up pieces of paper, pencils, pens, and manuscripts of the story you’re working on with him.

It’s just like him, the whole apartment. And you take it in. There’s a comfort in the normalcy of his home, a certain feeling you could relate to. This had, in a way become your home too and there were soft remnants of you all over the place.

A picture frame you gifted Bucky of the two of you in the Hamptons. Your pen set Bucky had pretty much stolen from you, the flask the two of you would fill with Irish coffee before going to a library and getting a little tipsy to write this story.

Each item with a memory etched into them, just for you and him.

Bucky takes a seat on the couch opposite you and looks at you, both of you awkwardly kind of just looking at each other.

“So…” He finally said breaking the silence, as he raked his fingers through his dark hair.

“Me first.” You sighed, you had to talk before he did otherwise you would chicken out and not be able to say half the stuff you came here to say.

He nods and waits for you to proceed.

“We need to talk.” You said slowly.

“I assumed so , that’ why you’re here.” Bucky raises an eyebrow at you and you sighed.

“Bucky, first of all I am sorry I almost assaulted you with my laptop.” You said, this makes his smile. “Secondly, I am mad at you, yeah but that doesn’t mean I have to stop working with you as hard as it’s going to be I am willing to put my personal feelings aside and get this book done.”

Bucky is now frowning.

“And I know we have this weirdly turbulent relationship but I am committed to finishing this book and If you will still have me, i’d like to at least finish it.” You paused for a moment, “You mean a lot to me Buck and I am glad I met you, I dont regret it. I do regret everything else that followed.”

Bucky is quiet for a moment, “I’m sorry for what I said, and for everything else that happened between us. I shouldn’t have slept with you, but fuck you for trying to play this professionally and formally. You don’t get to be mad at me” He said, a little harshly.

“Excuse me?” You replied, slightly taken aback.

“Yeah maybe I used sleeping with you as a way to get away from what I felt for Steve but you’re scared of anything that is potentially real. You can’t tell me you didn’t feel it. I am sorry for using you, but I love you Y/N and that’s not going to go away anytime soon.” He continued

“Well fuck you too then!” You exclaimed, “How could you even say such a thing, you USED me?!” You jumped to your feet fully seething with rage now.

Bucky got to his feet as well, “What like you used fucking me to escape your feelings for Steve?!” he exclaimed.

“Me? Fucking you? Excuse me, But I recall YOU kissing me Bucky! You fucked me!” You started yelling

“And I seem to recall you enjoying it! You never once said stop!” He yelled back.

“You’re a selfish prick! A conceited selfish asshole!” You yelled.

“And you’re a confused little girl with fucking daddy issues.” Bucky yelled back.

His harsh words suddenly stinging your cheeks and you couldn’t help the tears that suddenly flooded out of your eyes. “Fuck you James, Fuck you and fuck your stupid book and the fact that you are so careless with your words! Just..Just fuck you!” You shouted.

“Well fuck you too Y/N! Fuck you for coming into my life and shitting all over something that was perfectly fine until you fucking arrived!” Bucky shouted back, angrily clenching his fists at his side.

“I fucking hate you!” You screamed at him, picking up the first item you could find and hurled it at him, it was a hardcover book. Bucky ducked out of the way, and yelled right back.

“Well too fucking bad because I fucking love you!” He bellowed at you, moving towards you. Suddenly you’re both interrupted by an angry voice.

“What the hell is going on?!” Steve’s voice cut through the two of your shouts and you both whirled around.

And came face to face with a very angry looking Steve.


	10. Oh hey, look! It's reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re a writer, and have never been in love before. Though it’s not for a lack of trying! You are tasked with ghost writing a love story for a famous author and now need some real life inspiration. Until you meet Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes … the ultimate lover boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright we have reached the end of this lovely little series! This chapter has everything in it but I promise the ending is a happy one!AND THERE IS SO MUCH DRAMA! why? because it is my bisexual God given right to be dramatic! lol

The lull of silence that followed between the three of you was deafening. Your heart was hammering in your chest as you looked between the two of them, Steve wore an angry expression, while Bucky just looked defeated.

Steve walks into the living room, and stands between you and Bucky. His back to you with an angry scowl on his face.

“Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me,” Bucky groaned, frustrated.

“What the fuck are you doing Bucky?” He asks, anger evident in his voice.

“Nothing, just nothing.” Bucky answers with a sigh, he runs his fingers through his hair. There is just tension in the room, between all of you. Even though you and Steve had already had your discussion and worked things out, there was still a lot of things up in the air to deal with.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” Steve said, coldly.

“Just drop it man.” Bucky retorted. “Seriously, can we not do this?”

“Steve.” You say quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder but he shrugs you off. He looked furious, like he was about to hit Bucky and that was the last thing you needed in that moment.

“No, you knew Bucky. You knew but you still did it anyway and now I walk into this?” Steve gestures to both of you.

“Wait, knew what?” You asked, confused. “What is going on?”

“Tell her Buck.” Steve said, both of you looking at him now.

Bucky sighed, “Why are you doing this man?”

Steve didn’t answer him, the angry scowl on his face intensified as he waited, waited for Bucky to talk.

“What do you want me to say? That yes I knew you loved her and wanted to be with her and I still fucked her.” Bucky sighed exasperatedly. The already tense atmosphere shifting again in the room. You were momentarily stunned by this confession, it was a crass way of saying it but he had said it without hesitation and the look on Steve’s face was dangerous.

Without warning Steve closed the gap between him and Bucky and slammed his fist into Bucky’s jaw with such force, you thought you heard his jaw crack. Bucky saw the hit coming and did nothing to stop it, he knew he deserved it. He’d take the hit if it mean Steve would forgive him. Bucky stumbled backwards, steadying himself on the nearby chair, he gripping his jaw, tasting the blood drawn from his now split lip.

“Steve!” You exclaimed, immediately stepping between the two of them. “What the fuck!” You shoved him away from Bucky, and grabbed his shoulder. Bucky looked like he was completely dazed from the knock he had just taken.

But he shrugs your hand off his shoulder almost coldly. “Fuck you Steve,” he spat.

“No fuck you.” Steve retorted. “You’re selfish, you always have been.”

“What more do you want Steve?” Bucky exclaimed, he squares up to Steve now. Both men glaring angrily at each other. “Fine, you know what? I am selfish. Is that what you wanted to hear? I’m selfish! Always have been and always will be!”

“Bucky.” You said softly, maybe Steve would be less angry if he knew why Bucky had done it. You felt guilt ripping through you as you were the main cause for these two life long friends wanting to rip into each other right now. “Tell him what you told me.”

Steve looked between the two of you, he is irrevocably annoyed that you are standing at Bucky’s side. He felt as if you were choosing Bucky over him and this made him angrier. “Tell me what?” Steve snapped.

Bucky’s eyes met yours, he still held his jaw. The red blood dribbling down his chin, and he wipes it away with the back of his hand. He refuses to say anything, instead he moves away from you and storms off towards the kitchen. Both you and Steve go after him.

“Bucky.” You started to say but he cuts you off as he wrenches open the freezer and pulls out an ice pack, placing it over his now very blotted and bruised jaw.

Steve leans against the door frame, feeling slightly bad about the force he had put behind that punch he threw at Bucky. He shouldn’t have hit him but sometimes Steve’s anger got the best of him and in this situation it seemed all of them had fucked up in some way or another and he knew the only way to resolve all this was if he calmed down and they all talked like adults.

“I’m sorry.” Steve suddenly said. He looked at the ground, hands shoved into the pockets of his dark jeans.

“For what?” Bucky muttered, sitting down at the kitchen table, holding the ice pack to his face and tiredly rubbing his face with his other hand.

“Hitting you.” Steve replied. He moved forward and pulls a chair opposite Bucky and drops into the seat. You remained standing where you were by the kitchen sink. Crossing your arms, you waited for the two of them to hash it out, it was best if you didn’t say anything so not to cause any further damage.

“Don’t care.” Bucky said, not looking at Steve.

“Buck, come on. You did a shitty thing, what did you expect my reaction to be?” Steve said, in a much calmer voice than before.

“And I said I was sorry Steve, what else do you want? You won okay, you get her. She is all yours.” he replied, sounding defeated. “Every fucking time. You win again.”

“Don’t throw that bullshit at me Bucky.” Steve retorted, with a frown. He knew what Bucky meant and he didn’t like where this conversation was going. “You fucked every girl you came across, because you could never get over me”

Bucky’s whole face changed, his expression turned from defeated to angry in a second. “Because YOU completely fucked me up!” Bucky half yelled at him.

“Don’t dump your emotional baggage on me, I never asked for any of it.” Steve shot back.

“Right?” Bucky muttered bitterly, “Because you never asked for any of it, obviously Steve Rogers, gets to coast through life taking the easy way out as usual. God forbid you take any responsibility for your actions.”

“What actions? All I ever did was try and fix shit for you!” Steve replied heatedly.

“No, you didn’t. You fixed fuck all. You’re the same idiot I met in fucking school all those years ago and nothing’s changed. I’m always there fixing YOUR shit Steve.” he snapped.

“Again, I never asked you to do any of that!” Steve exclaimed, becoming exasperated. He runs his fingers through his hair, agitatedly.

“I don’t think you had to ask Bucky for that.” You said quietly, and they both turned to look at you. Seemingly have forgotten that you were there.

“Don’t bother, he doesn’t get it.” Bucky snorted.

“So explain it!” Steve snapped.

“You don’t get it because nothing was ever enough Steve! I was never enough!” Bucky exclaimed, slamming the ice pack onto the table. “You made me feel unlovable, after everything we went through! You wake up one day and just decide you’d rather be out there fucking randoms every night instead of being with me.”

Steve was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke, he suddenly spoke with a softness which he reserved for Bucky only. “Buck…” he said, “I.. that’s not why… You know I loved you.”

Meanwhile, you stood watching these two exes hashing out their past feelings for each other, feeling very much like you shouldn’t be here for this.

“Steve, let’s just drop this whole thing okay. You got what you wanted, you moved on, I moved on. Let’s not dredge up the past okay?” Bucky sighed.

“You know I never meant to hurt you, ever.” Steve replied quietly.

“But you did.” Came Bucky’s response. “And I forgave you and learned to live with being your friend.”

There was a silence that came over the kitchen when he said that, no one really knew what to say. You stood, awkwardly leaning against the counter having nothing really to contribute to this conversation, Bucky looked tired and Steve just looked guilty. This whole situation was a giant cluster fuck mostly of your doing.

“I don’t know what else to say Buck.” Steve said.

“You know what, I am sorry i slept with you” He looked at you, then back at Steve, “When I knew you loved her. It was a shitty thing to do, I’ll own up to my mistakes. You two on the other hand need to go figure your shit out.” He stood up, “Now get the fuck out of my house and come back when either of you know what the fuck you want from life.”

With that Bucky walked out of the kitchen, leaving you and Steve staring after him slightly surprised. A few moments later you hear the slam of a door, Bucky left his own apartment.

“Man, he always had a flair for the dramatic.” Steve sighed with a chuckle.

You just looked at him. You needed to go after Bucky, you had to fix this, Even if just for the sake of the book.

“I’ll see you later.” You said to Steve and without waiting for him to respond, you rushed out of Bucky’s apartment after him.

It doesn’t take you long to figure out where Bucky went, you know him so well by know. After months and months of spending almost every waking moment together.

“Hey.” You said softly, taking a seat opposite him in the booth. He was at his favorite diner near his apartment, his go to place for every comfort food known to mankind. But he wasn’t eating, he was drinking. How typical of a writer, to turn to alcohol in times of crisis.

“Hey.” he mutters in response, not looking up from the table.

“You okay?” You asked.

He looks up at you, and there’s already an ugly bruise on the side of his face from when Steve punched him.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He replied.

“I’m sorry.” You said.

Bucky just snorts, “Yeah everyone seems to be today.”

“I really am, I feel responsible for what happened between you and Steve.”

“Don’t be, Steve and I had this fight coming a long time ago really.” Bucky shrugged,

“Why?” You asked.

“When we broke up, I guess we didn’t really have the whole scream and shout like a hetero couple.” He chuckled softly. “A lot of shit was just sitting under the surface.” he shrugged again and downed the drink in front of him.

“I don’t hate you by the way.” You murmured softly, looking down at your hands.

“I know.” Bucky smiled at you.

“And I do want to finish the book, and have you in my life Bucky. I love you, just…” You said pausing for a moment.

“Just not in the way I want you” He finished your sentence for you.

“I…” You sighed deeply, not knowing how to continue.

“It’s okay,” Bucky said softly, reaching across the table and taking your hand in his.

“Are we going to be okay?” You said apprehensively.

“Yes we are,” Bucky nods, “I’ll be honest, I love you but I want you to choose Steve, in fact I need you to choose Steve.”

Blinking rapidly at his confession as you were taken aback by it.

“You love Steve, I can see it, everyone can but you really.” Bucky chuckled, “Choose him, it’s not that hard. I’d choose him too.”

“Buck.” You said, but he shook his head.

“No no stop looking at me like that, it’s a love story, hearts have to break before everyone gets their happily ever after.” He laughed, but you could see the laughter never touched his eyes and it hurt your heart.

“I’m sorry.” You said softly.

“Don’t be,” Bucky smiled at you, genuinely smiled. “You deserve the world, and I know Steve is going to give you that.”

You didn’t know what to say, you just kinda sat there. Stunned by all this. “I am glad I got to have you in my life, even as a friend.” He said,

“Me too.” You said, giving him a smile.

5 years later

You woke to the smell of coffee and waffles, wafting through bedroom. As Steve stepped into the bedroom, carrying a tray with the items you smelled.

“Good morning Mrs Rogers.” He murmured setting the tray beside the bed, and leaning down to kiss you on the cheek.

“Hey you.” You replied with a yawn. “What time is it?” You asked,

“7:30” Steve replied, climbing into bed beside you, pulling you into his arms.

“Ugh, why are we awake?” You groaned, snuggling into the him.

“You can go back to sleep, grumpy.” Steve laughed softly, “But I made you breakfast.” he placed a kiss on your forehead lovingly.

“Why?” you asked sleepily.

Steve laughed and pulled back slightly, “Did you forget?” He asked.

You opened you eyes and looked at his handsome face, he wore an amused smile on his face.

“Forget what?” You said, feeling confused.

Steve reaches over to the side table, and opens the draw. Pulling out a velvet black rectangular box. And handed it to you.

“Oh god no!” You groaned when you saw it, slapping your forehead at your forgetfulness.

“Happy anniversary beautiful.” Steve laughed.

“I’m sorry Steve, I have been so busy at work I completely forgot it was today!” You exclaimed. “I didn’t get you anything.” You said as you took the box from him.

“Its fine.” Steve said, “Open it.”

You pulled off the ribbon and flipped open the box, to reveal set of fine ballpoint pens, with an engraving of your name and his surname on it. Steve knew you had a thing for collecting expensive pens which you used to pen down ideas for your work.

“I love it” you breathed as you took one of them out and marveled at the workmanship.

Steve places his finger on your chin and tilts your head up towards him, placing a soft kiss on your lips. “Good.” he murmured against your lips.

He suddenly deepens the kiss, running his hand down the side of your body, and rolling you over so that he is now on top of you.

“My breakfast is going to get cold” You giggled as he placed open mouthed kisses along your neck.

“Fuck it.” He murmured kissing your chest as he pulled off your t-shirt. “I want this more.” his mouth finding yours again.

In the five years since you had started Bucky’s book, it had become a number one bestseller and garnered a movie deal. It actually amazed you how well it had turned out. You managed to work together seemingly well even after everything that had happened.

Steve and Bucky eventually worked things out, all of you realizing it was better having each other in your lives as friends than not at all. But you and Steve had begun dating soon after the book was released and three years later, you had gotten married. It was all a rather a whirlwind affair.

“Are you ready?” Steve called from downstairs.

“Almost, give me a moment.” You shouted back, slipping on a pair of dark blue jeweled Manolo Blahniks, you adjusted the blush silk dress you wore and tossed your hair over your shoulder before you rushed out of the room, grabbing your purse on the way out.

“Can’t believe this day is actually here.” You said, excitedly as you and Steve walked hand in hand through the room full of people, all dressed in their formal wear.

“Yeah, this one took a while.” Steve chuckled beside you, pulling you a little closer as you both stepped through the narrow entrance filled with people. Steve garnered looks from quite a few people as the two of you walked into the large airy beautifully decorated glass walled room.

He wore a tailored black suit, and looked absolutely to die for in it. You couldn’t help the flutter you got in your chest when you looked at him.

“Shall we go find them?” He asked, looking around the room. You spotted Thor and Pietro on the other side of the room, they waved at the two of you in greeting, beckoning you over.

“Where are they?” You asked after the two of had greeted them.

“Upstairs.” Thor replied with a grin.

Steve takes your hand once more and the two fo you made your way upstairs. Stopping the huge oak doors, you knocked softly and waited.

A very flustered looking Sam flung open the door, while trying to adjust his bow tie.

“Oh thank fucking god you two are here.” He said throwing his arms around you and then around Steve.

“You nervous?” Steve chuckled.

“What no, I don’t know how to tie this damn thing and Bucky is no help.” Sam said.

“Speaking of Bucky, where is he?” You asked, as Steve moved to help Sam tie his bowtie.

“In there.” Sam pointed to the bathroom door, you nodded and moved to the door, knocking.

“Buck?” You called out.

There was a shuffle and a bang and the door opened. “You came!” He greeted, practically throwing his arms around you and lifting you up.

“Of course we did.” Steve replied for you. Bucky’s grin extended to him as they hugged. Steve stepped back and looked him over.

“Well I think you two clean up nicely.” He said looking between Bucky and Sam, both of whom looked absolutely dashing.

“So, are you two ready to get married?” You asked, excitedly.

But you already knew the answer to that question when you saw the smiles on their faces


End file.
